Dealing with Disaster
by Splendid Shadows
Summary: AU After Dante, Vergil, and Lady escape from the Demon Tower, they have to learn to live with each other as they sort out their lives. And having unwelcomed house guests doesn't make it any easier. R&R please!
1. Home Coming

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouth.

**Dedication:** This first chapter goes out to **Divine Star**, this really talented deviant artist. Her comics always make me laugh! You can see the link to her gallery in my profile. Also mad props to **Arianni** for her constructive criticism. I've taken it to heart and re-written the first chapter. Hopefully it's better. Also thanks to **Kerrianne Harrington** for that lovely review. Cookies for you both:D

**Disclaimer:** Devil May Cry is the property of Capcom. But the chibi-Dante dancing in my head is all mine. MINE I TELL YOU! XD

**A/N:** OK, can we say REDO? LOL I rewrote the first chapter so hopefully it's better. I have to revise the other two chapters as well, but I guess it's all worth it. I decided to scrap the idea of this fic being humorous because apparently I can't write humour if my life depended on it. So it will be a mostly 'serious' fic with splashes of funnies in it. I hope. ;P

Anyhoo, review please! It really does go a long way to motivate me to keep on writing. And with this site's finicky editting program, I need all the motivation I can get. Constructive criticisms are welcomed and heeded! However no flames please.

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**Chapter 01: Home Coming**

Everything was so wrong.

The landscape was the most obvious one; it was an aberration of the natural order of things. As far as the eye could see there was nothing but desolate wastelands that held no signs of life. The laws of physics held no meaning here as chunks of hard earth floated in the sky and wreckages of buildings jutted out at impossible angles.

Even the heavens itself was coloured a deep crimson that seemed to bath everything in blood. Shadows abounded where light should have chased them away. It was a place that swallowed all hope and allowed no dreams to come true. This was a place of Hell.

However even the chaotic atmosphere wasn't what was so wrong.

In a fast moving river that chilled to the bone, two men stood. They were brothers, identical twins, and the last of their family. And they had just tried to kill each other.

The one dressed in a red leather coat watched as shock registered on his brother's face. Dante's chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. Though the water he stood in was ice cold, it did nothing to numb the pain from the cuts and bruises his brother had inflicted on him. But the greatest pain of all was in his heart at seeing Vergil's grievous injury, and the dark knowledge that he had inflicted it on him.

"Am I … being defeated?" Vergil asked in disbelief. He clutched at the deep wound on his chest, Dante's sword having missed his heart by less than an inch.

"What's wrong?" Dante asked, tasting bile in his mouth. He knew what was wrong with this scene, but he doubted Vergil shared his views. "Is that all you've got? Come on; get up! You can do better than that."

As if hearing his bother's voice had woken him from a dream, Vergil's expression changed from astonishment to grim determination. Dante knew that look well; even as children Vergil had been stubborn. It meant that he would come up with a way to get what he wanted.

Dante feared what his twin would do next.

With deliberate steps Vergil walked backwards. He saw Dante's blue eyes widen as he approached the edge of a cliff. Behind him was a deep yawning chasm that seemed to go on forever. It was dark, even more so than any shadow they had seen yet. The pitch-black gloom even seemed to suck up the unnatural red light of the sky.

A cold wind moaned from the gulf, and it reminded them of a monster's call, a monster that was waiting for its next meal.

"The portal to the human world is closing, Dante, because the amulets have been separated."

Dante flinched at Vergil's matter-of-fact tone. Indeed he had noticed the ground starting to shake. He hadn't known why it had begun, and frankly he had been too distracted to care. But at his brother's statement he knew it was because the way back to Earth was slowly closing.

Nonetheless he couldn't leave Vergil in this place. Their father's sword was still here somewhere, and he knew Vergil lusted after its power. He had no idea why his older twin wanted it; Vergil had claimed he needed strength to protect. But protect what? As far as he knew he was Vergil's last remaining family, and he doubted his brother had a lover or even a friend. So what did he need Sparda's power for?

One thing Dante did know was that he had to stop Vergil from gaining the Legendary Dark Knight's demonic might. Though he was still at odds with his father's memory, he respected Sparda enough to follow his wishes.

"Let's finish this first. I have to stop you … even if that means killing you."

"No one can have this, Dante. It's mine," Vergil said forcefully as he clutched his golden amulet in his left hand. "It belongs to a son of Sparda."

Vergil paused for a moment, and then stood up more rigidly as if coming to a monumental decision.

"Leave me and go, if you don't want to be trapped in the demon world. I'm staying. This place was our father's home."

Without any more words or warnings, Vergil tipped himself backwards into the waiting jaws of the abyss.

As if by reflex Dante immediately ran forward to arrest his brother's fall. But all he got for his trouble was a lightning quick slash to his outstretched hand. Blood dribbled down in rivulets onto the dull brown earth.

'_I wonder if I'll ever see you again,'_ Vergil mused as he watched his brother's stunned face. _'Dante, do you understand why I did this? Will you ever? If this incident brings you pain … forgive me for forcing your hand.'_

Dante's face left Vergil's view and was replaced by the red skies. It reminded him of the colour his brother favoured so much, and the blood that ran through both their veins. Vergil was struck with the odd thought that though they shared the same blood and heritage, they were completely different people.

Almost immediately the sky was replaced with the all-consuming blackness of the chasm. The bitter wind tugged at his white hair as he began his descent into Hell. Vergil met the darkness with a feral look in his eyes. He would not allow himself to fear this place. This was, after all, their father's home.

_Thwack_.

"**OW!"**

The back of Vergil's head had unexpectedly smacked into the cliff face with a loud thud. His vision swam for a moment before he realized _something_ was keeping him from falling. And that something was –

"DANTE! Let go of me right now!"

Bending his abdomen in a sit-up position, Vergil glared at his brother's visage. The other half-demon was lying on his stomach at the edge of the cliff. His uninjured arm had grabbed onto Vergil's left foot, holding him upside down over the gulf.

"No can do, bro," Dante grinned almost wickedly. "This may have been Father's home, but it's not ours."

Vergil made a growling noise at the back of his throat. Dante had always been a pain in the rear since their childhood, and apparently he hadn't changed much.

'_How could such an immature idiot ever defeat me?'_ Vergil groused to himself as he felt his twin begin to yank him up onto solid ground. Unfortunately each sharp tug made Vergil's head hit the wall again. And again. And again. And again.

When Vergil was finally on the cliff once more, the back of his head felt like one giant bruise.

"Vergil …" Dante said uncertainly as he watched his brother clutch his head. The usual pale man was paper-white now. Why wasn't his devil healing abilities working?

"Dante," Vergil hissed like an angry wet cat. "Were you trying to save me or kill me?"

To his immense frustration all Dante did was tip his head to the side like a confused puppy. Vergil didn't know if he was pretending to be clueless on purpose just to be annoying, or if Dante really was dense.

He was betting on the latter.

Regardless of Dante's intelligence, or lack thereof, Vergil tried to lunge at him. To his confusion all he got was air and then a mouthful of dirt.

Dante didn't have the heart to point out to his brother that his aim had been _way_ off. Vergil had tackled the air a foot away from where Dante actually stood.

"Wow, Vergil! Maybe you need glasses now 'cause your aim sucked!"

All right, maybe Dante had enough heart for _one_ remark.

"Or maybe you just like eating dirt. I remember how you used to eat mud pies in the backyard! Haha, Mother would freak out whenever she saw you!"

OK, _two_ remarks.

'_Asshole!'_ Vergil screamed in his head as he spit filth from his mouth. _'I was three years old when that happened. And you're one to talk! You ate more disgusting things than I ever did!'_

Vergil tried to make a proper retort but ended up choking on some left over grit.

'_Dante, you bastard! When I get my hands on you I'll … mm, actually this dirt doesn't taste all that bad.'_

He went stock-still.

'_Argh! Dante! You gave me brain damage! I'm really going to kill you for this!'_

"Come on, the portal to the human world is closing because the amulets have been separated. We better leave if we don't want to be trapped in the demon world," Dante rose as he looked around their former battleground.

Indeed the ground, and now the sky, seemed to shake with more strength as the seconds ticked by.

'_Don't steal my lines!'_ Vergil roared in his head, but even that simple thought caused his senses to spin out of control. Feeling the urge to throw up, Vergil dry gagged a few times before he felt his brother's strong arms wrap around him.

"Try not to dirty my coat, will you? It's the least you could do for your dear brother whose saving your life."

'_I'd rather take my chances in Hell …'_ Vergil thought as his vision was being eaten away by gray spots. He recognized this sensation; he was about to faint. But why was it happening to him now? His injuries had never failed to rapidly heal, thanks to his devil heritage.

Putting an unresisting and nauseous Vergil on his shoulder in a fireman's carry, Dante beat a hasty retreat. He somehow managed to balance his ill brother and both their swords as he ran towards the gate back to the human world.

With luck they'd made it to the portal in time to return to Earth. He didn't want to make his visit to Hell a permanent vacation.

* * *

'_The streets are still deserted,´ _Lady thought as she surveyed the area. To her immense surprise she didn't see any police or emergency workers buzzing around the Temen-Ni-Gru.

With such a huge tower emerging in the middle of the city's urban core, it was a miracle that no one had come. There weren't even any _reporters_ milling around for God's sake!

'_Maybe it's magic,' _she shrugged to herself as she carefully picked her way through the broken asphalt. The emergence of the Demon Tower had cracked the roads and cut off all power to this area. People had also fled this section of the city, though there weren't many residents here anyway.

This was a ghetto, the bleakest of the bleak. No one stayed here by choice. Only those with no money or had hopeless lives called this place home.

Looking back at the Demon Tower, the monstrosity her father had summoned from its resting place, a deep frown crossed her face.

It was going to take _a lot_ of explosives to tear this thing apart. And they would need to. Still hovering above the Temen-Ni-Gru was the portal to the demon world. They couldn't leave that entryway open any longer.

She could see red light emerging from the portal through space and time. It resembled a fatal wound inflicted upon the overcast heavens.

To her surprise she saw the portal began to waver, just like air above pavement on hot summer days. The portal seemed to undulate and the red light began to flicker erratically.

'_The portal is shutting down!'_ she realized as she watched the gateway to Hell collapse upon itself. It seemed to wrestle with some invisible opponent before, with a loud _BANG_ that echoed throughout the streets, it finally heaved shut.

Almost immediately pale sunlight broke through the cloud cover, and she smiled up into the sky. It was over. They had won.

'But where's Dante?' 

For a few moments her heart constricted with worry. Though he was half-demon Dante had proven to be a warrior for the side of Good. He was sarcastic and irreverent most of the time, but she felt a certain _connection_ with him. They did share the problem of power-hungry, homicidal family after all.

Her fears were intensified as she watched the Demon Tower began to tremor. Large pieces of stone began to fall, and she ran back a safe distance to keep from being flattened.

When the smoke and debris cleared several long minutes later, Lady gazed upon the remains of the Temen-Ni-Gru.

More than half of the tall structure had collapsed and its wreckage was strewn everywhere. A few errant pebbles rolled down to stop by her feet, but aside from them there was an eerie feeling of _stillness_. It was as if the world was holdings its breath for something.

Lady stood uncertainly for a while before deciding to walk away. Her job was over, done, finito. She had stopped her father's mad schemes, and she had gotten revenge for her poor, innocent mother. There was nothing left for her here.

She commanded her legs to move, but they remained where they were. Lady found herself scanning the rubble for any signs of red.

'_Stop it!'_ she scolded herself. Looking for Dante in all this mess would be like finding a needle in a haystack. And perhaps … perhaps he had gotten stuck in the demon world. If so she could do nothing to help him.

Scowling at the thought, Lady abruptly turned away from the wreckage. She didn't _care_ if he was trapped in Hell; he was a demon in any case, and should be right at home there.

'_Yes … that's right,'_ she firmly told herself and began to slowly walk away. But it was the hardest thing she ever had to do, and that included when she shot her own father.

"So, you're still here."

The voice stopped her as if an invisible fist had grabbed her entire body. She spun on her heels and gazed at the cocky smirk of a certain devil hunter.

Unconcerned about her lack of a response Dante deftly hopped down from the slanted section of road he had been balancing on. This area was quite a mess, and that was _before_ the Temen-Ni-Gru had imploded on itself. Now it just looked like someone had dropped a bomb on this place.

Sauntering over to where Lady stood, he stopped in front of her and grinned. She looked at his face and saw that underneath the confident smile he looked tired.

'_No, not tired. Exhausted.'_

"I see you had quite a time over on the other side," she said flippantly as she circled him. His red leather coat was in ruins and she spied dried blood on his chest, arms, and legs. The brown leather pants he wore were also slashed to ribbons and she knew they couldn't be repaired.

"Yeah, it was a blast," Dante said as he leaned forward a little to catch his breath.

Vergil had passed out when they exited the portal, but Dante couldn't stop to check on his twin. The Temen-Ni-Gru had started to collapse around them as the door to the demon world violently shut. There was no telling how long the tower would stand, and so Dante, to his chagrin, had to run some more.

In fact he ran _and_ jumped to avoid falling debris and to reach the lower levels faster. So now as he stood outside once more, Dante felt bone tired.

"I need my Kalina Ann back," Lady said as she stopped in front of him.

"Right, gimme a minute," Dante said as he tried to regain his strength. To his annoyance he found that some of his wounds were still bleeding, and his stamina hadn't returned to him yet. It looked like Vergil wasn't the only one suffering a lapse in his demon healing abilities.

Finding the silence uncomfortable, not that she'd ever admit it openly; her bi-coloured eyes fell on the blue clad figure still on Dante's broad shoulder.

"Isn't he heavy?" she asked.

"He's not heavy! He's my brother!"

Lady rolled her eyes at his bad pun.

After long moments had passed Dante stood up straight once more. His breathing had returned to normal, but he still looked worn out. And grimy.

Wrinkling her nose at him; he _still_ had some dried Leviathan blood in his hair and skin; she placed her hands on her hips.

"Well?"

"What?" he asked densely.

She gritted her teeth and reminded herself that he'd probably suffered some brain damage from the time she'd shot his forehead. The thought didn't stem the temptation to do it again.

"Kalina Ann?"

"Right, your tricked out bazooka," Dante adjusted Vergil so he rested more comfortably on his shoulder.

Another (shorter) pause followed.

"You know I'm not leaving you until I get it back."

"Why, Lady! Are you coming on to me?" Dante asked coyly, or at least he thought he did. For a response she shot at his foot.

"OK, OK, I'll give it back! But I don't have it with me right now, so wait a while, will ya? I have to take my brother home and patch him up."

She glared suspiciously at him, and he gave her his best 'innocent puppy-dog' expression.

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll tag along," Lady said obstinately.

"Suit yourself," Dante shrugged as he began to walk away, Lady falling into step beside him.

**A/N: Liked it? Hated it (with good reason)? Please tell me in a review!**


	2. Take a Break

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To **Sam Valentine, Meirelle, **and** Jibril-Kadamon**, my three other reviewers. Your kind words are greatly appreciated! Cookies for you all!

**Disclaimer:** Devil May Cry is the property of Capcom. I just wish they'd shared Dante with me though. :(

**A/N:** Ah sorry for the long wait. I got, umm, _distracted_. But after getting the Devil May Cry OSTs for DMC 1 and 2, I got back into the mood! Anyhoo, **review **please! It really does go a long way to motivate me to keep on writing. Constructive criticisms are welcomed and heeded! However no flames please. I accept anonymous reviews now!

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**Chapter 02: Take a Break**

"Well here we are!" Dante said grandiosely. "Welcome to Maison Dante!"

As Dante, still carrying Vergil, entered his abode, Lady looked at the flat he called 'home'. She was not blown away by what she saw.

When he flicked on the overhead lights, her first impressions plummeted to new depths.

Peering from the freight elevator they had taken to the topmost level of the building, she saw that his flat had exposed brick walls and support beams. The brick was liver brown and the iron beams criss-crossing the ceiling were rusted. The floor was coloured a dull gray and was covered with fair sized dust bunnies, piles of haphazardly stacked boxes, a few plastic bins, and old newspapers. And as if to emphasize the dilapidated conditions, Lady heard water dripping from leaks somewhere in the room.

'_This place would fit in with the rest of the Temen-Ni-Gru,'_ she thought sardonically to herself. _'And by that I mean **after** it was blown to bits.'_

"Don't be shy," Dante turned back and grinned at her hesitant form. "I won't bite … unless you want me to. Come on in!"

Against her better judgment, she did so. Lady didn't really want to enter; she'd probably catch some sort of disease just by breathing the air. But she had nowhere else to go at the moment, and besides, she had to hit Dante for that last comment.

"Ow!" he said as she punched his left arm. "What was that for?"

"Take a wild guess," she snorted as she followed him to the far side of the room.

"Feh, women," she heard him mutter but she let it slide. Now that she was inside she could see that the west wall held a bank of tall windows. They were grimy and the metal frames were rusted, but she could clearly see the ruins of the Demon Tower.

They were only a few blocks away, but she saw the rubble of the ancient structure, as well as the destroyed roads and modern buildings immediately surrounding it. Rebuilding the area would take a very long time.

"Ah, that's a load off."

Facing her companion again, she saw that Dante had laid his brother on a beat up couch. The other man was still pale, but it looked like his worst wound had stopped bleeding.

Seating himself in front of Vergil's prone form, Dante took a moment to rest. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, and just let his mind go blank. During their entire walk here he had thought about Vergil's words, his actions, and what they could possibly mean.

He never did understand his brother; Vergil was always more knowledgeable than him. But that hadn't mattered to Dante since he thought he knew one thing for certain: his older brother loved him and would always be there. Now he wasn't so sure.

'_I wonder what would have happened if I had left Vergil in the Demon World,'_ he thought and then roughly pushed it away. No, he would not consider it; he would _never_ abandon his brother. And the consequences of that were too horrible for him to think about right now.

Someone clearing her throat broke his reverie. Wearily opening his blue eyes Dante saw that Lady was standing in front of him with her arms crossed. She had her 'grumpy' face on, and he briefly wondered what she looked like when she wasn't about to kick your ass.

'_Probably pretty,'_ he mused as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Do you use this place for storage or are you naturally this messy?" Lady asked as her eyes flicked from one small catastrophe to another. Cardboard boxes and other knickknacks covered the majority of the floor so that it was like being inside a maze. She wouldn't be surprised if there were rats and other vermin around this place either.

"This was my old dig before I bought my office. I was in the process of moving," he explained, and promptly frowned. "Damn, my office is completely messed up thanks to the demons my brother sent after me."

Turing around he glared at Vergil's slumbering form.

"Thanks a lot, jerk! You owe me a new office building!"

Vergil continued to be oblivious to his surroundings, but he did frown a little.

"Never mind that," Lady said. "Where's Kalina Ann?"

Dante faced her again and quirked an eyebrow.

"Wow, you're really attached to that thing, aren't you?"

"It has sentimental value," she frowned down at him. "And it's none of your business! So if you'd kindly give it back already, I'll leave you and your brother so you can spend some quality time together!"

"Hey, whoa, sorry," Dante held his hands up in defeat. "I didn't mean to offend you. Listen, you look pretty beat too. Why don't you stay here for the night?"

Lady glared at him suspiciously. It was true she'd fought with him before, but that didn't mean she trusted him. He was, after all, half demon.

"Think of it as a, umm, thank you, for lending me your bazooka," he added.

The young woman looked to be on the verge of asking for her item yet again, but then quickly deflated. To be honest she was _tired_, more so than she had ever been in her life. Though she'd taken a break in the library of the Tower, a brief rest wouldn't cure her of her injuries and fatigue.

"Fine," she sighed as she copied his earlier action and rubbed her face with the heels of her gloved palms.

"Great!" he chirped, looking a bit more energetic than before. "There's a cot in that room to the left," he pointed to a closed door. It was made of steel covered with peeling dark brown paint. "It should still be good to go. The bed sheets might be a little dusty though."

"I'll deal with it," she assured him and headed in the direction of his pointing finger. When she was about go in, she stopped and turned back to him.

"Thanks."

"No problem," Dante smiled charmingly at her.

"Good night," Lady smiled tentatively back.

"Night, baby."

She grimaced at his name for her before heading inside and closing the door. Dante had called her Lady when she wouldn't tell him her real name, and that moniker had stuck. She was grateful it hadn't been 'Baby' or 'Sweetie' or some other inane pet name he could have come up with. If he had then she'd _really_ have to kill him.

Dante sighed, as he looked at the closed brown door a tad wistfully. He would have _loved _to offer to tuck her in as well but: a) she would have shot him and b) Vergil still needed to be treated.

Looking at his brother again, he frowned slightly.

'_Even unconscious you still manage to cramp my style!'_

Rising from his seat Dante began to rummage through his many boxes, looking for any spare first aid kits. Even though it was currently morning he couldn't wait to go to sleep. This entire ordeal was the most grueling experience he'd ever encountered to date and he ardently wished it would be the last of its kind.

But for now, Dr. Dante had a little patch up job to do.

* * *

Early evening moonlight filtered through the large skylight in the flat's ceiling. It shone onto Dante's slumbering form and illuminated one of his silver belt buckles. The light glanced off the metal and straight into his eyelids. 

Roused by the sudden stimulus, Dante regretfully returned to the waking world. He yawned widely and smacked his dry lips several times. Looking around confusedly, he slowly recalled all that had happened.

Temen-Ni-Gru. Vergil. Arkham. Lady. His old apartment.

Grimacing at the crick in his neck, Dante gradually lifted his head from its resting place. After treating Vergil and his own wounds Dante had just zonked out where he'd lain. That happened to be the not-to-clean floor near the couch his brother currently inhabited.

Quickly gazing at his twin, the anxiety left his blue eyes when he saw that Vergil was still asleep. The man remained exactly as he'd left him; his damaged blue coat was draped over his form like a blanket.

Dante had worried that Vergil would make a run for it when he woke up. They weren't on the best of terms at the moment and he was afraid his twin would hate him for what he'd done.

'_Well, it's not my fault that I don't want to gain power like you do,'_ Dante stared at Vergil's sleeping face irritably. But underneath his ire Dante was still concerned over Vergil's pallid skin. It looked like Vergil had lost a lot of blood, and even though that wasn't good, Dante was glad since it meant his brother wasn't going anywhere for a while.

Sitting on the floor and leaning his back against the couch, Dante rested his head on the brown cushion. Though they were twins they had rarely seen eye-to-eye, even as children. But it always seemed easier to get along with Vergil when their parents were around …

'_Stop,' _Dante firmly told his mind. His usually erratic brain listened to him for once. The memories of his parents, especially his mother, weren't something he wanted to think of right now.

Quietly rising from his position he took a look around his surroundings. Similar to Lady's first reaction, he wrinkled his nose at the mess. Despite what he had said earlier, he did think this place was a pigsty.

'_But beggars can't be choosers,'_ he said as he scratched underneath his coat. Seeing as most of his money had been invested in his (ruined) business, he didn't have a lot of capital to work with right now. So until he got back on his feet, they would have to make do with what they had here.

'_Buuuuuuut.'_

Rummaging through his pants pocket he came out with a crumpled twenty-dollar bill.

'_Sweet.'_

Ambling over to a wall phone; thankfully he hadn't cut this phone line yet; he dialed in a number almost on reflex.

"Tony's Pizza."

"Hey, Tony," Dante said lazily.

"Dante!" the owner of the pizzeria said happily. "What can I get you?"

He liked it when Dante called. This one customer was putting his kid through _college_ for crying out loud.

"The usual," he said, meaning an extra large pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, and extra cheese. "Oh, and a six pack of Coke."

"Sure thing," Tony said on the other side. "You having a party or something?"

Dante usually never ordered a drink with his pie.

"Yeah, something like that," Dante smiled as he glanced at the couch and then the closed brown door.

"OK, sure," Tony said. "I'll send Martin over as soon as your order is done."

"To my old address, if you don't mind," Dante remembered in time.

"Oh? What happened to your new joint?"

"Overrun with pests," he scowled at the memory of the demons. "I'm staying here till I get it cleaned up."

"Ah, sorry to hear that," Tony said. "Anyway I'll go get your pizza ready."

"Thanks, Tony. Bye."

"Talk to ya later."

They both hung up. Left with nothing to do but await his beloved food, Dante decided it was time to tidy up a little. Besides, now that it was so quiet, he needed the distraction. He didn't like the thoughts that entered his mind lately.

As quietly as he could he cleaned up the spent medical supplies he'd used on Vergil and himself. He had considered taking some to Lady, but from what he could tell she was fine. Anyway she was probably smart enough to tell him if she had any large injuries.

Next he took Yamato, Vergil's katana, and stowed it away in a secret place. With his treasured sword missing, Vergil wouldn't dare leave without it.

Afterwards Dante cautiously peeked into Lady's room. It was a bare, windowless area with a cheap cot as the only item inside. She had stripped the bed of its dirty linen and discarded it on the ground. She hung her holsters at the head of the bed and her faded red boots were on the floor. On the bare mattress she slept in a fetal position, but loosely held in her right hand was one of her pistols.

Apparently she still didn't trust him completely.

'_Oh please, as if I'd try anything on her,'_ Dante thought to himself as he left her alone once more. He didn't want to have his head ventilated again courtesy of Lady's bullet. _'I have the decency to hit on her when she's awake!'_

He visited the little devil's room adjacent to the one Lady occupied. It was even nastier looking than the main area. There were rust stains and dust bunnies everywhere but he was too tired to do anything about it. But worst of all was the toxic green tiles that decorated the bathroom. It seemed that the previous owner had no taste whatsoever.

Checking a wall clock; it was only 7:28 p.m.; Dante ambled over to a desk in front of the windows. He resignedly plopped himself onto a leather armchair that had stuffing coming out of the armrests. Turning it around to face the bank of windows he gazed outside.

In the distance he could see the remains of the Temen-Ni-Gru. The city officials were probably having a ball trying to figure out where that monstrosity had come from. Luckily they had restored power to this section of the city; Dante didn't think he could stand a blackout on top of everything else that had happened so far.

The areas closer to the Demon Tower were still pitch black, and he was gazing into their shadowy depths when he heard … skittering.

Going _very_ still, Dante strained his ears.

_Sksh, sksh, skshhhhh._

There it was again!

_Something_ was running around in the flat, and by the sounds of it, that something was probably a rat. A _big_ one.

Standing up from his chair, the seat making a creaking noise as he did so, he faced the insides of the room again. He slowly breathed out and was surprised when he saw his own breath.

When had the room suddenly gotten so _cold_?


	3. A Chilling Discovery

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To all my reviewers: **yodel**, **Tas**, **Sam**, **Kerrianne Harrington** (thnx so much for your continuing support!), and **Simierelle**. You made this chapter come that much faster. :P

**Disclaimer:** Capcom owns the DMC games. Lucky. :(

**A/N:** Well, much sooner than I thought, here's the next chapter! I couldn't wait to get this piece off my chest. :D Please keep on **reviewing**; I love getting them. :)

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**Chapter 03: A Chilling Discovery**

Warily scanning the room, Dante could not see where his 'uninvited guest' had gone. It was dark in the flat since he'd managed to close the lights before falling asleep near Vergil's couch. Deep shadows filled the area, the streetlights from outside barely lending any light.

Automatically his hands trailed down to his hips in search of his ever-faithful handguns, but to his chagrin his fingers only met air.

_'Argh!'_ he thought in irritation. _'Crap, I forgot!'_

While he had been patching up Vergil he had found his sword harness and gun holsters to be too constricting. He'd taken them off and dumped them on the floor before resuming his medical treatment of his twin. Now he wished Rebellion, and Ebony and Ivory were with him. Though his hand-to-hand fighting skills were impressive, Dante was just a little jumpy. The thing he heard scampering around the flat could be a very heavy rat, or a demon that had followed them from the Temen-Ni-Gru.

With two injured and/or tired guests in his home, Dante wasn't willing to take any chances.

Stealthily he crept from the windows to where Vergil lay, his eyes always scanning the room for any signs of the intruder. He managed to reach the couch without incident, and began to pat the floor for his weapons. His probing hands soon touched cool metal and after picking them up he strapped on Rebellion and his handguns.

Feeling much better now that he was properly armed, Dante strode over to the light switches. Flipping them on the bare bulb fluorescent lights cast the room in its unflattering glow.

"All right," he whispered to himself, once again examining the room. His blue eyes saw nothing, but then again the floor wasn't the neatest place on Earth. The interloper could have hidden itself in any of the numerous boxes and bins.

Letting out a loud breath Dante's heart sank. It would take _forever_ to search through all of this stuff! But, remembering that Vergil and Lady were still resting in his flat, Dante squared his shoulders and began looking.

The half-demon didn't know how long he searched; he opened and rummaged through countless cardboard boxes, storage bins, and piles of old newspapers and magazines. He found things he thought he'd lost _years_ ago, but he didn't have the time to reminisce over them now.

Continuing his hunt, he failed to notice that he'd made an even bigger mess as he left his possessions scattered everywhere. However diligently he searched though, he found nothing. Dante even dared to peek into Lady's room again, but saw her in the same position as before.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Dante scratched his head in wonder.

_'Maybe I imagined it?'_ he asked himself as he slowly walked back to his old desk. He'd looked everywhere and found naught a trace of the intruder. Or perhaps it had been a rat and he'd scared it off.

Leaning Rebellion against his desk, Dante sat heavily in the armchair. As per his habit he tipped it back to rest his legs on the desktop.

"Waaaaah!"

**_BAM_**

With a loud crash Dante and the chair fell over. He landed inelegantly on his rump and hit the back of his head on the floor.

"What the Hell!" he exclaimed from his new position. He'd owned that chair for years, and in all the times he'd done that it had never let him down, literally.

Rising from the floor he scowled down at his seat. Nothing was wrong with it sans the stuffing coming out of the red leather armrests. Peering closer at the furniture he noticed that one of the chair legs was ... iced over?

Looking down at the smooth cement floor he saw that a small puddle of ice had also formed there. What was going on? It was the middle of summer, much too hot for ice to be forming naturally. Was some pipe leaking coolant somewhere? He wouldn't be surprised; this place wasn't a shinning example of functionality or safety.

Righting his chair, this time careful to keep it off the ice, Dante sat down on it in a proper manner.

He was going nuts. First he thought he'd heard things, and then he'd gone chasing shadows. Now he'd fallen on his ass; thank God no one had seen it; and, checking a wall clock, his pizza was late. If Martin was expecting a tip he'd be in for a rude awakening.

Dante was hungry, confused, and tired. Bad things tended to happen when he felt all three emotions, rare as it was.

_'Argh, I hate this!'_ he mentally moaned to himself. His starvation must be making him see things and it was starting to give him a headache.

In frustration he began to bang his forehead against the tabletop. When in doubt, pound your troubles away.

What he didn't expect was someone grabbing the hair at the back of his head and slamming his noggin against the wood. _Hard._

"Ow!" he gasped, holding his forehead in pain. Though he was purportedly thickheaded even Dante's mighty forehead stung from the blow. "What was that for?"

Glaring up at his attacker, he was not so surprised to see that it was Vergil.

"You looked like you enjoyed banging your head so I decided to help," he answered calmly as he looked at his twin. However his stoic face couldn't fool his brother; Dante could see the annoyance in Vergil's blue eyes.

"Yeah, well thanks for you _help_," Dante growled out sarcastically as he rubbed the sore spot on his head. Man, he hoped it wouldn't bruise. Though his devil healing abilities should make short work of the injury, it still seemed like it wasn't working properly.

Giving his brother the once over, he saw that Vergil was still pale. It was better than before but he still wasn't completely healed.

_'Ah, what's going on?'_ Dante frowned to himself. _'I hope we didn't lose our devil powers or something. I don't see a reason why we would but …' _He glanced at his brother. _'If we did, Vergil's gonna be pissed.' __  
_  
"So why were you making that infernal racket?" Vergil asked as he casually leaned against his partner in crime, a.k.a. the desk. "With all the running and fighting you've done, you seem pretty energetic."

Dante was about to explain the possible threat of an intruder in the flat (he wasn't about to admit to his older sibling that he'd been on a wild goose chase) when the Sparda twins were interrupted.

"DAAAAAAAANTE!"

The shrill scream had come from Lady. Like a hurricane, a very pissed off hurricane, she stormed out of her borrowed room.

Without even bothering with the pretense of helping Dante out with his newest 'hobby', Lady grabbed the devil hunter's hair and used his head like a gavel.

After beating Dante's head several times, Lady let him go. She then crossed her arms and glared at him. The look on her face said that she was imagining his head imploding and was now trying to make it a reality by just thinking it.

"What did he do?" Vergil asked with a tinge of amusement in his voice.

Lady redirected her wrathful gaze to him, and he met it unflinchingly. Still, he was very glad he wasn't Dante at the moment.

_'Hair gel,'_ he thought to himself. _'I'll have to get more hair gel.' _

At that moment he'd do _anything_ to keep her from mistaking him for his idiotic younger brother. Most of the time it sucked being identical twins, though as children there had been a few amusing incidents. But that was then and this was now.

"He. Groped. Me!" Lady bit out in answer to Vergil's question and returned her glare to the even more aching Dante.

Vergil's eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. It wasn't because he thought Dante was above groping women; he was the more lecherous of the pair. It was just that he didn't think Dante would do it while she was asleep. The move would be a wasted effort, after all.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" the accused said in an offended tone. "I did no such thing! I was here all the time, right Vergil?"

He watched anxiously as his older brother seemed to mull it over.

"Well," Vergil said musingly. "He was over here, killing brain cells by himself …"

"Exactly! See!" Dante crowed triumphantly. Then his twin's words registered in his mind and he glared indignantly at him.

"Well if it wasn't you," Lady said sourly and turned her fierce gaze to Vergil. He shot her an incredulous look that clearly said, 'oh please, give me _some _credit!'

"Maybe you were having a dream," Dante said slyly. "You know, it was all in your mind? But I must say, you have a good choice in dream material."

He added in a sexy wink, or at least he thought it was sexy. Vergil thought he looked demented and Lady was considering strangling Dante next.

"I wasn't having a dream!" she insisted frostily and then blushed a little. "I … I felt something touching my legs."

"Maybe it was a mouse or some other kind of vermin," Vergil offered as an explanation. "By the looks of this place, I wouldn't be surprised if such things lived here."

"Oh you're welcome, brother," Dante said crossly. "I could have just left your ass out in the cold, you know."

"Speaking of which," Vergil's eyes narrowed dangerously, "about what happened in the Demon World …"

Dante opened his mouth to cut his brother off when a box fell over in the distance. It was one of the haphazardly stacked boxes located near Lady's room.

Everyone froze immediately.

Exchanging wary glances they turned to face the offending item. It had spilled yellowed folders full of documents that looked like old invoices. After the papers had settled down silence enveloped the room. None of them dared to breath as years of hard experience compelled them to scan the room for any signs of danger.

Silently Dante picked up Rebellion and started to stalk towards the upturned box. It had been a miracle that Rebellion hadn't impaled him when he fell from his chair, or fallen over when Vergil and Lady slammed his head onto the desk. But that wasn't the point. The point was he was intent on routing out the rat, bug, monster, or whatever else it could be once and for all.

"Be careful," Lady whispered.

Dante stopped and looked back. He saw that his brother and his guest were still standing behind the desk. They didn't look like they planned on joining him anytime soon.

"My guns are back in my room," Lady said apologetically. She could have kicked herself for forgetting them, but she had been so _angry_ when the feather-light touches had woken her up.

"Yamato seems to be missing," Vergil frowned. "You _didn't_ leave it in the Demon World, did you?"

It was a question but Dante heard the command behind it as well. He quickly shook his head no and turned back around. He'd rather face the mysterious intruder than his brother's incensed look.

The tension only heightened when a noise, the same skittering sound Dante had heard earlier, echoed through the flat.

The red-clad devil hunter began to walk towards the pile of boxes again, this time with Vergil and Lady following behind him (from a safe distance of course). They knew they were acting awfully paranoid for something that was most likely only a rat, but the events of the Temen-Ni-Gru was still fresh in their minds. It was better to be safe than sorry, as they say.

As they cautiously threaded their way through the jungle that was Dante's flat, Lady jerked back reflexively when a box on the floor shifted. Something was behind it! Her hands automatically grasped for her pistols, but all they met with was the cloth of her kilt. She frowned and berated herself once more for leaving her weapons behind.

She jumped again when she felt a hand close around her wrist. Looking down she saw Vergil holding her. Glancing questioningly at his face, the other half-devil didn't even look away from the box as he moved her behind him.

Lady didn't know whether to be touched or offended at Vergil's actions.

In less than a second she settled on offended.

_'Why that arrogant prick!'_ she fumed. Did he think she couldn't look after herself? Well if so, he had another thing coming.

Ignoring the two Dante raised Rebellion in preparation to strike. He aimed for the box ... and was promptly bowled over when the thing behind it jumped.

Shouting in surprise he teetered on the heels of his feet before falling backwards. But before he could hit the floor hands caught and steadied him.

Gazing up in shock, Dante looked at Vergil's equally stunned face. Both men were surprised that one had saved the other.

"Gyah!"

Lady's own startled cry drew their attention. What they saw floored them.

Lady had sat down hard on the floor from the impact of the 'intruder' landing on her. It now perched happily on her lap, looking at the three other people dumbly staring at it.

Panting slightly, the carefree puppy began to chew on its ear. Or at least … one of its ears.

"What the Hell?" Dante asked in amazement as he stared at the _three-headed_, _ice-covered _puppy.

A heavy silence followed.

"Cerberus?" Dante asked tentatively.

As if recognizing his name, the hellish dog barked. It sounded weird coming from three heads though.

"Hey," Dante said easily as he walked over. Crouching in front of the apprehensive woman he picked up the dog by the scruff of his neck. Dante's fingers tingled upon contact with the frost-covered fur, but he lifted Cerberus to his face.

Instead of the three-story high guard dog with an attitude, Dante saw a cheerfully panting puppy about the size of a Jack Russell.

"What are you doing here?" Dante inquired. "How did you get out? And for that matter, how did you turn back?"

All he got for an answer was the middle head tipping sideways in incomprehension, the left head chewing on the middle head's ear, and the right head snapping at his fingers.

"Hey, answer me, will ya?" he growled out and shook the puppy.

"Dante!" Lady said disapprovingly and snatched Cerberus from him.

"Were you expecting an answer from that?" Vergil asked sardonically. "I know I got the lion's share of the brains, but I thought you knew dogs can't talk."

"Does this look like a normal dog to you?" Dante snapped. "I met him before. He was guarding the entranceway to the Demon Tower. But when I defeated him …"

"When you defeated him," Vergil prompted after Dante trailed off.

"He lent me his power," he frowned as he recalled the three-rod nunchaku type weapon Cerberus had morphed into. "It was an ice element weapon, and pretty powerful too. It saved me lots of time."

Turning his intense gaze back at the dog, which was now yipping playfully at a smiling Lady, Dante shook his head.

"Before I chased after you in the Demon World I stored him in the Statue of Time. How did he get out of there? And how has he turned back into his demon form?"

"This is his demon form? No wonder you were able to defeat him," Vergil teased.

"He was bigger than this," Dante rolled his eyes. "_Much_ bigger. _And_ he could talk. I guess he only managed to transform partially. But it doesn't answer the question of how he did it at all."

"Maybe it has something to do with the opening of the gateway to the Demon World," Lady piped up. She was now petting one of Cerberus' heads, and the other two whined at her for similar attention. "Or even the Temen-Ni-Gru collapsing. With all this arcane activity going on a lot of strange things must be happening."

"Yes, but we don't know that for sure," Vergil mused, going into 'think' mode.

"What is it?" Dante asked his brother, recognizing the look on his face. He knew Vergil had hit upon some kind of idea or solution.

"I know whom we can ask," he said seriously, looking straight into Dante's eyes.

"Who?" Lady asked curiously.

"There's a couple in this city who are heavily involved in the occult. I've consulted with them many times before," Vergil answered. "Perhaps they will know what to make of this strange ... phenomenon."

"Great, let's call them up now," Dante stood.

"They don't own a phone," his twin shook his head. "We have to visit them personally."

"Then let's go," Lady also rose from the floor.

"It's after business hours."

Both stared at him.

"I didn't set the rules," Vergil said grumpily. "We can see them tomorrow morning."

"So what do we do about him?" Lady peered at the dog. On closer inspection she saw that he was black furred, but the constant coating of ice made him look silverish in the light.

"He stays with us," Dante said immediately. "He's mine. In a way. I guess."

Cerberus looked up at Dante and barked in seeming affirmation. His long tail wagged and all three heads panted at him. Smiling at the dog; he liked this Cerberus _much_ better than the one he first encountered; Dante scratched behind the middle head's ear. It leaned into the touch.

A buzzer sounding broke the brief comfortable silence.

"What's that?" Lady asked suspiciously. But Dante had already started heading for the freight elevator that was the only way in or out of the flat.

"Finally, pizza's here!" he said with the same relief a thirsty man regards water. Cerberus jumped out of Lady's hold and ran after his self-proclaimed master. However he did make a pit stop and piddled on a plastic bin.

Hearing the tinkling sound, Dante stopped, turned around, and then gaped. Cerberus was peeing out the demonic equivalent of liquid nitrogen. His urine almost immediately turned into a large ice puddle on the floor, as well as crawling up the sides of the plastic bin.

"It was YOU!" Dante said accusingly and made a flying grab at Cerberus.

The demonic dog deftly avoided him, causing Dante to fly into the frozen plastic bin, before scampering towards the elevator.

Vergil and Lady both shared a look. For once they both agreed; neither wanted to know what Dante was talking about.


	4. Setting Off

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To all my reviewers: **Meirelle**, **Sam Valentine**, **yodel**, **Kerrianne Harrington**, **eve**, and **anonymous**. You guys rock my socks! ;)

**Disclaimer:** (phones Capcom's main office). "Hello? I'd like to buy the rights to Devil May Cry please. What? You mean it costs several hundred million dollars, my arms, legs, first-born child, and my soul? Uh, I'll get back to you on that …" (click) "Dang!"

**A/N:** OK here's chapter four! **Tell me** what you think of it; I'd love to hear from you! Oh, and more extensive author's notes after the chapter. Enjoy. :D

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**Chapter 04: Setting Off**

With a deep moan, Dante awoke.

Squinting his eyes against the morning light, he stiffly sat up in the armchair he'd fallen out of last night.

'_Ow, man,'_ he lamented to himself as he rubbed his sore neck.

Since the flat had only housed one person before Lady had gotten the only bed. Vergil had claimed the couch without asking, so Dante was left with nowhere to sleep. Even he refused to bed down on the dirty floor again, so he'd used the only other piece of furniture in the room.

He'd slept sitting on the chair and resting his head and arms on the desktop. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world and his aching neck and shoulders were proof of that.

"ACHOO!"

The sneeze took him by surprise, and it was violent enough to rock him back against the chair.

"Ugh."

Sniffing loudly Dante blearily glanced at his 'pillow'. It seemed that Cerberus had managed to scrabble to the top of the desk and had curled up against Dante's head. The hellish puppy was still sound asleep, his breath coming out in frosty mist that iced over the tattered leather desk blotter.

Patting the crown of his head, Dante felt tiny icicles in his hair.

"Great," he rubbed his face before emitting a loud yawn. His joints were killing him and now he had a brain freeze to boot.

Wearily rising from his seat he shuffled over to the bathroom. He passed by Vergil who was lying on the couch. His twin's back was facing him, and Dante couldn't tell if he was still asleep or not.

Checking the wall clock the devil hunter saw that it was only a little past eight o'clock. All three had a late night before; after dinner they had spent some time cleaning up the floor and scavenging Dante's belongings for anything useful.

They hadn't found much; most of his things had already been moved to his now ruined office. What they did unearth were some of his old clothes, mostly sweaters and track pants, some lose change (a.k.a. lost pizza money), half-empty first aid kits, and a few basic toiletries. The rest of his stuff was esoteric knickknacks he'd been planning on throwing out.

Grabbing a (relatively) clean towel he entered the toxic-green tiled bathroom and locked the door. Dante ran the taps for a bit to get the rust washed out of the faucet. When the water was clear he took a hot shower, summer weather be damned.

Feeling much better now that he'd defrosted, Dante sauntered out of the bathroom and headed for the pizza box. No one but him had been that hungry last night so there were plenty of leftovers. Neither Lady nor Vergil had bothered to tell Dante that they didn't exactly love pizza as much as he did.

Passing by the couch again on his way to breakfast, Vergil finally saw it fit to acknowledge his brother.

"Dante," he said blandly.

"Well good morning to you too, sunshi- whoa!"

Much to Vergil's amusement Dante did a nice flip before landing on his face.

"Damned dog …" Dante said in a muffled voice as he peeled himself from the floor. It looked like Cerberus had struck again with his freezing pee.

"I was waiting for that," Vergil smirked as he sat up from the couch. He had seen where Cerberus had relieved himself after waking up a few minutes ago. It had seemed only right to see whether Dante would notice the ice or not. Of course, he admitted gleefully to himself, his well-timed greeting had provided a nice distraction as well.

"Thanks for the warning," Dante frowned as he stood up. Cerberus had to be housebroken or else someone could get seriously hurt from slipping on his accidents. That wouldn't be so much of a problem for Vergil and him, but he could almost imagine his other guest's reaction if she ever fell. Most likely it would be painful and aimed at him.

The brown door opened and Lady stepped out.

"Morning," she said semi-genially before grabbing a towel from the pile they'd found last night and entered the bathroom. She was wearing a pair of Dante's old shorts and t-shirt for pajamas.

Dante sighed.

He should have woken up to a nice woman's face instead of the icy cold visage of Cerberus, cute as he was in this form. Life really sucked sometimes.

Walking over to the pizza box, he grabbed a slice and scarfed it down. Vergil watched in disgust as Dante 'ate', or more precisely, shoved food down his throat.

"He's not even heating it up," Vergil muttered to himself in revulsion. Of course he knew there was nothing to heat the pizza up in, but still, it was the principal of the matter.

Rising from the couch Vergil reluctantly joined his brother who was already on his third slice. Cerberus was at Dante's feet, begging for food. Since they didn't have any proper puppy chow, his 'master' fed him the same thing as last night: pizza crust and pepperoni. The puppy didn't seem to mind as he ate the pepperoni with similar enthusiasm as Dante.

"Do you have anything else to eat?" Vergil asked indifferently, but hoping against hope that there was.

"Nope," Dante answered easily and then nudge the pizza box precariously resting on some plastic bins towards Vergil. "Help yourself."

"Pass," Vergil wrinkled his nose at it and went back to the couch. True he was hungry but he wasn't _that_ hungry.

"Suit yourself," his brother shrugged and happily took Vergil's share.

Lady came out a few minutes later dressed in her outfit from yesterday. There was no way in Hell she was going outside in Dante's old clothing.

'_Besides, they don't stink that bad,'_ she took a whiff of her cropped dress shirt. Yeah they smelt a little sweaty, along with her knee-high socks. Her kilt wasn't too bad though there was some demon and her blood on it. But who cared? She looked good, and if either of the Sparda brothers mentioned her, ah, _fragrance_, she would beat them without mercy or reservation.

Cerberus ran over to her and jumped into her arms. Lady caught him with a smile and the three heads wouldn't stop yapping at her till she petted all of them. Setting him down he scampered off to parts unknown.

Content with things for the moment she approached Dante, the more personable of the twins, but promptly stopped when he offered her the pizza box. No way was she eating _that_ again.

"Don't you have anything else to eat?" she asked almost the same question as Vergil did.

"No," they said in stereo.

"Pass."

Huffily she sat down in Dante's armchair and glared from one brother to the other.

'_Oh great, there are **two** of them!'_ Dante thought. Nevermind that it was hilarious how similar Vergil and Lady's reaction to the pizza was. What mattered was that there were two picky eaters with _attitudes _living with him. It didn't bode well for him or his stomach.

Silently Vergil got up and headed for the bathroom. He passed by Cerberus, who was now chewing on one of Dante's sweats socks, and made sure to scan the floor for ice. Seeing none he got another towel and closed the door.

"So what's the plan for today?" Lady asked as she propped her legs up on the table a la Dante. "We're going to see these occult specialists that Vergil knows, right?"

"Yeah, we'll go as soon as Mr. Moody over there finishes using the bathroom," Dante nodded as he closed the pizza box. There were still a few slices left. Most likely that would be lunch as well.

"Argh!"

Vergil's shout made everyone in the flat stand up. This time Lady was armed and her hands automatically grabbed her pistols. If there were any more demons coming to call, she was ready this time.

Brutally opening the bathroom door, Vergil stalked out and stopped in front of Cerberus. He glared at the dog for all he was worth, but the three-headed hound wasn't impressed.

"What's the matter?" Lady asked, slowly putting up her guns. It didn't seem like she'd need them for this situation, whatever it was.

Vergil fumed at the dog that had resumed chewing up the socks. Finally seeing that his glare wasn't working Vergil answered.

"He drank from the bowl."

At first his two companions didn't get what he meant. Then they realized that Cerberus had drunk from the toilet bowl and had probably frozen it over too. So when Vergil tried to use it …

"Ahahahaha!" Dante burst into hysterics. He was laughing so hard he was doubled over. Oh man, this was just too good to be true!

"Umm, bad doggy," Lady said but couldn't contain her giggling.

Seeing that he was getting zero sympathy from his companions, not that he was expecting any, Vergil marched back into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Oh man, priceless!" Dante said and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Lady saw his face was red and it made her laugh some more.

When Vergil sulkily emerged from the bathroom, they were ready to go.

Lady was wearing her battle outfit complete with thigh holster, ammo holders, and guns. She looked vaguely uncomfortable without the familiar weight of Kalina Ann, but she didn't complain about it.

Dante had managed to save his brown leather pants and boots, still unzipped much to Vergil's annoyance. But hey, if he wanted to look like a slob and fall on his face again, that was Dante's problem, not his. However, much to his approval, Dante now wore a black and red muscle shirt. His red leather coat was beyond saving though. As always Rebellion was strapped to his back, and his twin handguns were in their holsters.

As for Vergil he had also managed to save his black leather pants and brown knee-length boots. But to his great horror his silk coat, his _very expensive_ blue silk coat, had been reduced to ribbons. Thankfully his black silk shirt was also intact, as well as his matching cravat and leather vest. He wore the remains of his clothing sans the cravat and vest because it was too hot for them today.

He'd also combed his hair back, much like the way their father wore his. Since Vergil had no hair gel to put his locks in their usual style, it was either comb it back or leave it in the same messy mop Dante wore. Vergil felt he chose the lesser evil.

"Finally," Dante said as if Vergil had spent all morning in the bathroom. "You're done. Let's go!"

Lady made a noise that could be interpreted as assent. They both headed for the freight elevator.

"Wait."

They stopped and turned around to face Vergil. He hadn't moved from his spot near the couch.

"What?" Lady asked irritably. "Don't tell me they're not open yet!"

"They are," Vergil said after checking the wall clock. "Or at least, they will be when we arrive. But you can't go wearing that."

"Why not?" Dante said petulantly. Yes he wasn't exactly dressed like he wanted to, but who was Vergil, the fashion police? And wearing silk with leather? _Puh-lease_, if anyone should get arrested for a fashion faux pas, it should be him!

"You mean aside from you looking like that biker from the Village People and you," he said turning to Lady, "looking like a tomboy Catholic high school girl?"

"This coming from a vampire Goth wannabe," Lady scoffed.

Vergil scowled. He couldn't help it if the only clothing that survived the Demon Tower was all black! And his blood loss made him paler than usual. It wasn't like he was trying to be a Goth.

"I meant your weapons," he said with forced patience.

The two looked at him as if he were crazy. Vergil gave into temptation and rolled his eyes.

"It's not like I'm asking you to go topless," he said, "and in Dante's case, I'm making that an order."

"Like I have to listen to you," he said sullenly but crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously.

"The building where the occultists live is in a public area," Vergil explained. "I'd rather not have to explain to police officers why both of you are loaded for bear."

Seeing Vergil's logic they grudgingly stripped themselves of their weapons and returned in front of the elevator, feeling noticeably naked.

Nodding his approval Vergil entered the elevator. But when he did so a loud howl rent the air. All three started at the sound and turned back to the flat.

Cerberus was sitting there looking at them forlornly. His six eyes weren't glowing so brightly like before and all three heads were whining quite pathetically.

The trio exchanged a look.

"I guess he comes with us," Dante heaved a sigh and stepped back into his flat. He supposed it was a good idea anyway; there was no telling what kind of damage the hell hound could have wrought while they were gone.

Since he didn't have a leash, not to mention a leash for a three-headed dog, Dante made do by placing Cerberus in an old red backpack. The puppy just fit into it and was obligingly still when Dante slung him onto his back.

At long last they exited the shabby building and entered the streets. It looked as deserted and dirty as before, and they seemed to be the only ones present.

"I suppose they haven't moved back in yet," Lady said after several minutes of silence.

"I dunno," Dante shrugged. "Maybe they're still scared of the Tower. Then again most of the, uh, _residents_, around here don't come out till night time."

"Oh," she frowned and made a mental note to take a gun with her if she ever needed to leave his home in the middle of the night. Dante didn't have to say what kind of locals lived here; they were drug dealers, pimps, and thugs that preyed on anyone who looked like an easy target.

Vergil ignored their banter since he was busy leading them through the neighbourhood. He paid attention to the street signs though they didn't really help. However with a bit of luck and perseverance they finally arrived at their destination.

"Looks like a place a couple of occultists would live in," Dante said in a hushed voice. They stood in front of a tall two-story Victorian style building. It was made with dirty white planks of wood and had a dark gray gabled roof. A rusty iron weathervane was at the very peak. The small front yard was bare except for several hardy weeds growing in patches at random intervals.

"Yeah. They even have wards written on their door," Lady pointed to the strange symbols done in red on a yellow sign.

"Hey you two, are you coming or not?"

They turned around and saw that Vergil was standing in a bus. He was looking out the door with an impatient expression.

He internally rolled his eyes at their stupefied faces.

"The place we're going to is on the other side of town. I just took us to the bus stop first."

Dante and Lady looked back to the Victorian house and saw the front door open. A dark brown skinned man came out carrying a poster sign. It was promoting several foreign films for rent. The owner smiled at the dumbly staring pair before re-entering his shop.

"Come on, or I'm leaving without you," the bus driver said.

Dante and Lady entered.

Vergil had paid their fare already so all three sat in the rear of the vehicle. Dante sat down and gently set the backpack beside him. Lady sat on the other side of Cerberus.

Vergil took a place across from the occasionally moving bag. From his vantage point he saw Dante and Lady exchanging a loaded look.

'_Pffft, don't tell me she's falling for his come ons!'_ Vergil snorted to himself. He thought Lady had much better taste in men than _Dante _of all people. In actually the two were silently agreeing never to mention the incident outside the bus. Ever.

The rest of the bus ride was held in silence. No direct eye contact was made.

As the bus traveled along its route the scenery changed from a dingy urban setting to a more commerce-oriented area. There were loads of small shops, a few malls, and business buildings.

Vergil kept his eye out for the cluster of buildings he was looking for. When he spotted the familiar sign he rang the bus' bell. It halted at the next bus stop and the trio of people, with one demon puppy, clambered out.

Dante and Lady looked around them. They seemed to have arrived in front of a strip mall that held several oriental restaurants, a karaoke bar, and a bowling alley. The duo looked at Vergil again to see if he was waiting for another bus to come along, but he was already halfway across the street.

Sharing peeved looks they followed the older Sparda twin.

"Hey Vergil, did you get bus transfers for us?" Dante asked.

"What for? We're here," he answered without bothering to look back. Purposefully he strode towards a lone building.

"Err, but it's a –"

"I know but that's only a front," Vergil cut Lady off. "They run a legitimate business to fund their arcane practices."

He went into the flat, completely plain looking cement building. It had bars across its front windows, but they doubted anyone would want to rob the place. There was nothing decorative about it, and Dante wondered how it attracted any customers at all.

'_Oh wait, my mistake. There is **one** decoration on this dump,'_ he thought sarcastically.

Hanging above the barred door was a large sign that was lighted from the back. In multi-coloured bubble letters it read 'Tick-Tock Shop'. Below it was a cartoon rendition of an alarm clock, complete with a garishly smiling face.

"That is the … most retarded clock I have ever seen," Lady said bluntly.

Dante's quip was interrupted when Vergil's head stuck itself out the door and glared at them.

"We're coming," Dante sighed and both resignedly entered.

* * *

A/N: Ok, another chapter done! I'd like to mention a few things in case people were wondering. 

1) When Cerberus froze the toilet bowl water, imagine trying to pee in it. That would almost be like having plastic wrap over the toilet seat. Can we say, "splash back"? LOL, you didn't think I'd only tease Dante, did you? ;)

2) I used the official DMC3 wallpapers to reference Dante, Vergil, and Lady's outfits. About Vergil's coat being silk … umm, yeah I couldn't tell if it was silk or leather, but on closer inspection I am inclined to think it is silk or some similar material. If it isn't (waves the creative license around).

3) I meant no offense against the Village People, Catholic high school girls, vampire imitators, or Goths. The three aren't really morning people, and they like to snip at each other anyway. See my last point below.

4) This chapter wasn't as funny as the last one in my opinion. But remember, our heroes and heroine aren't exactly chummy with each other to begin with. They all have issues to contend with, and I hope to deal with them as the story progresses. So not all chapters will be loaded with laughs, but I'll try not to make it _too_ serious.

5) OK last one, for real. Please **_review_** if you like this story. :)


	5. Q&A

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To all my reviewers: **Meirelle**, **Kerrianne Harrington** (thanks to both of you for your continued support!), **Ri2**, **Anonymous, yodel, Yasmine, ATH/Warrior Nun, **and** animegirl10.** You people made this chapter come about. Seriously, I needed that push or else this story would never have gotten done. :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Devil May Cry series, but soon I will own a copy of the manga. Oh yes, it's peanut butter jelly time!

**A/N:** Chapter five has _finally_ arrived! (Whee that rhymed!) I have absolutely _no_ excuse other than I am lazy and am easily distra- Oooh a butterfly! (_Goes off to chase it_. ) Umm, what? I mean, to make up for my tardiness here's an extra long chapter for you folks. :P

* * *

**Chapter 05: Q&A**

A bell jingled as soon as the door closed behind Dante and Lady. It was just one more noise amongst a cacophony of _ticks_ and _tocks_ as they dumbly stared at the shop's interior.

Wall clocks of different styles, shapes, and sizes covered the white walls in a dizzying display. No two were the same, and there seemed to be no order to the madness as classical-style clocks hung with more contemporary pieces. Just looking at them all made one slightly nauseous.

Tearing his eyes away, Dante saw that there were glass cases/counters along three walls of the room. Resting on plastic stands or velvet cushions was a variety of wrist and pocket watches. Like their brethren on the walls they weren't arranged in any particular order. It was as if the owner had just placed them wherever he felt like.

Vergil stood in the middle of the room, his eyes adjusting to the sight. It had been a while since he'd been here and he'd forgotten how disorienting this place could be. The dissonant ticking of the clocks could make someone go mad, given enough time. He never understood how the owners could work, much less live, in this place.

"Ah, welcome to my shop! Can I help you?" a voice said, snatching the three's attention immediately. The small group looked to the far wall and saw an elderly man emerging from a swinging door.

He was more than a head shorter than the twins, and his stooped back made him even more diminutive. Gray hair was carefully combed over his bald crown but there was still hair on the back and sides of his head. His skin was dry, wrinkled, and spotted with brown. Coffee brown tweed pants, a white dress shirt, and a darker brown vest hung off his slim, almost twig-thin body.

"Mr. Chu," Vergil said formally.

"Vergil!" the older man suddenly grinned. "I haven't heard your voice in ages."

Frowning at the odd wording, Lady leaned forward to take a closer look. Upon her inspection she was surprised to see that Mr. Chu's eyes were uniformly white.

"Since you're here I assume you're investigating the recent demon activity?"

"Something like that," Vergil smirked, thinking that 'demon activity' hardly justified the rising of the Temen-Ni-Gru. "But this isn't the place to talk of such things. Can we go to the back of the store to discuss this further?"

"Of course, right this way," Mr. Chu motioned for Vergil to follow him. "I assume your brother and companion would also like to join us?"

Dante and Lady started.

"How did you know I'm his brother?" Dante asked warily.

"I am blind, but I have my ways," Mr. Chu grinned, showing off yellowed teeth. "Right this way."

He shuffled through the door again, Vergil right behind him. Exchanging wary glances the two remaining people followed.

'_I knew I should have brought my guns,'_ Dante complained to himself as they descended through a straight, and steep, flight of stairs. He'd done stupider things than going into a basement unarmed, but this entire place had him on edge.

Glancing behind him he saw that Lady had a frown on her face as well. It looked like he wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable with this situation.

Flashing her a winning smile, which she rolled her eyes at, he continued down to the bottom. They were in a narrow hallway that was made of dark coloured stone. It seemed odd since the hall had the feeling of _age_ to it, not at all what a modern building's basement should be. The air was musty, cool, and slightly … _electric_. There was something about it that made Dante's skin faintly tingle.

Lady instantly recognized the sensation.

'_Magic,'_ she thought as she flexed her hands. She remembered how the atmosphere felt exactly the same when _'that man'_ had performed a ritual or opened an ancient artifact at home. It made her skin crawl and her stomach drop to her feet. The feeling was completely unwelcome, but like before, she could do nothing to stop it.

Gritting her teeth she roughly shoved Dante in the back to make him resume his trek. The sooner they talked with this Mr. Chu the sooner they could leave this place.

"Hey!" Dante said at his rough treatment but all he got was another shove. Grumbling under his breath he petulantly started walking again, wondering what Lady's problem was.

'_I swear that woman has constant PMS!'_ he groused to himself.

They quickly caught up with Vergil who was still following the slowly walking/shuffling Mr. Chu. They passed by several closed doors; they were made of thick wood reinforced with metal bands, something that looked more at home in a castle than a basement; before stopping at the end of the hallway.

Mr. Chu grabbed the iron door handle and pushed the door open.

"Please come in," he said as he trundled inside.

Dante and Lady were treated to the sight of a mammoth room filled top to bottom with ancient books. Floor-to-ceiling shelves took up all the walls, even the one that held the door. More bookshelves covered the floor space so that it was kind of claustrophobic being in there.

"We have visitors, my dear."

"Visitors!" another voice said in a gentle voice. "Ah, and such handsome ones too! Vergil, it is good to see you again. And I see you've brought your brother this time."

A _shushing_ noise drew closer to them and from the shadows emerged an elderly woman in a wheel chair. She seemed as old as Mr. Chu and just as frail. Her back was also hunched, which made her lean precariously forward in her seat. A pastel blue dress covered her body, as well as a thick crocheted shawl. Snow-white hair was gathered in a bun at the nape of her neck, and a pair of wire-framed glasses was perched on her nose. But her eyes were sharp with intelligence as she carefully regarded first Vergil, and then Dante.

"Come here," she said and held out her hand to the younger twin.

Glancing at Vergil, Dante received a brief nod of the head before he sauntered over to who he assumed was Mrs. Chu. He took her hand in his and cocked an eyebrow when she let out a long breath.

"You have good blood in you," she smiled after a moment of closing her eyes. "The sons of Sparda are always welcomed here." She squeezed his hand with surprising strength before letting him go.

Dante smiled, not quite comfortable that she knew of his heritage but not quite surprised that she did either.

"And who are you?" the elderly woman expertly turned her wheelchair to face Lady. "One of the brothers' girlfriend?"

Lady immediately scowled while Dante smothered a disbelieving laugh and Vergil internally rolled his eyes.

'_I'd feel sorry for whatever sap has to date her!'_ was their identical thoughts.

"No!" she said forcefully. "I'm just-"

"She's Arkham's daughter," Vergil interrupted. "Look, we have other matters to discuss. I assume you two know of the rising of the Temen-Ni-Gru?"

"Naturally," Mr. Chu said, not missing a beat. "Its re-emergence, and consequent fall, sent a wave of disorder throughout the city. I'm sure people with the talent could feel the Demon Tower's influence even in other parts of the country."

"Wave of disorder," Vergil said musingly. "What kind of disorder are we talking about here?"

"Most likely there will be an increase in the appearance of lesser demons," Mr. Chu shrugged as he began to walk through an aisle. "Perhaps a few demonic artifacts could also be activated if they were close enough to the Temen-Ni-Gru."

The group wordlessly trailed after him, and he led them to a corner nook where a table and several chairs waited for them. They seemed like an afterthought and no piece matched another.

Mr. Chu slowly seated himself on an office swivel chair and his wife wheeled herself beside him. Vergil claimed a padded stool while Lady grudgingly sat near him in a beanbag chair. Dante took a dinning chair and turned it around so he could lean his arms on the backrest.

"When you say lesser demons, what do you mean?" Dante picked up where they left off.

"Oh, I'm sure you've encountered some before," Mrs. Chu smiled. "But it seems to me you have something specific in mind."

Silently Dante took off the backpack and set it on the floor. Unzipping the main compartment, a grateful Cerberus clambered out. The three heads barked in seeming irritation at Dante before spotting Lady and making a beeline for her.

She scooped him up in her arms and patted all his heads. Lady made sure to set him down on her kilt since his cold body would chill her skin pretty quickly. Both either didn't notice or ignored the annoyed look Vergil was shooting at them. Vergil was betting on the latter.

"This is Cerberus," Dante introduced for the benefit of the Chu couple. They were staring at the hellhound with complete curiosity instead of fear. Then again it was kind of hard to be scared of Cerberus in this form. The middle head was happily getting his chin scratched while the left was nibbling on his tail. As for the right head it was looking right back at the elderly people with a mixed look of interest and cautiousness.

"Do you mean Cerberus, the guard dog to the Underworld that was feared in the ancient days?" Mr. Chu asked, though by his tone of voice it was apparent he already knew the answer.

"That's the one," Dante nodded. "I take it my father sealed him up in the Demon Tower to guard the gateway into Hell?"

"Of course," Mrs. Chu nodded and made a soothing sound. The dog's ears perked up and Cerberus scampered over to her. He stood on his hind legs and placed his front paws on her knees. Smiling down at him she petted all three heads one at a time.

"As you can see we have a … problem," Vergil spoke once more. "Dante said he defeated Cerberus, who then turned into a weapon. Later on he was put inside a Statue of Time. How could he have escaped _and_ turned back into his demon form?"

"When dealing with gods and demons, it is often a question of _why _then of _how_," Mrs. Chu replied.

Vergil, Dante, and Lady shared confused looks.

"I suppose it doesn't matter how he came back," Lady finally said after a pregnant pause. "The question is how do we get him back to where he belongs?"

"Indeed. It would be dangerous for Cerberus to remain here, both for him and the human world," Mr. Chu agreed. "You will have to return him to the Demon World where his powers will not endanger any innocent lives."

"How do we do that?" Dante pressed.

"To be honest with you," Mrs. Chu said amiably, "We have no idea."

All three youths would have fallen in shock if they hadn't been sitting down already.

"What!" Dante said before rounding on his brother. "You said they could help!"

"I said perhaps they might know the answers to our questions. I never offered a guarantee!" Vergil shot back.

"Shush now, children," Mrs. Chu reprimanded them gently. "Most things are revealed in time. I think for this matter, patience is all you'll need."

"Patience! But didn't you say Cerberus was dangerous to humans?" Lady demanded.

"As he is right now, he does pose a risk but it is minimal," Mr. Chu answered. "In fact it looks like he's taken quite a liking to you. However if he gets close enough to a substantial source of demon energy, well, there's no telling how much of his original form he'll revert to. In the legends they said he could easily swallow a full grown man."

"Yeah, he could," Dante nodded in agreement.

"So all we can do now is wait and hope the answer just falls into our lap sometime soon?" Lady asked in disbelief.

"Basically, yes," Mrs. Chu smiled. She chuckled at their crestfallen expressions. Even the usually stoic Vergil looked disappointed.

"At least do you know why it's taking me so long to heal my injuries?" Vergil asked. "My demon powers should have taken care of them a long time ago."

"Change into a demon for me," Mrs. Chu said.

"What?"

"Change into your demon form," she repeated patiently.

Vergil was on the verge of denying he could, but one stern look from her stopped him. Sometimes her eerie knowledge was a blessing but at other instances it was a curse.

Sighing resignedly he rose from his seat and took a few steps forward. He felt all eyes on him but he didn't show any indication of apprehension. Being the center of attention was nothing new to him.

Closing his eyes he stood in that small space, forcing himself to relax his body but focusing his mind into clarity. He called up the feeling of excitement, of bloodlust, that he used to trigger his transformation. The eldest Sparda son remembered battles he'd taken part in, the wounds he'd dealt and the wounds he'd received. His pain, his enemy's pain, they all served to make his blood hum and his heart to fill with power that would built in intensity till it exploded outwards and encompass his entire body.

The watchers saw blue electricity dance around his legs and arms, and for the briefest of moments the outline of Vergil's demon form emerged. But in the next instant it was lost and a completely human looking man still stood before them.

Slowly opening his eyes Vergil was met with shock. Since the Temen-Ni-Gru he had _never_ failed to summon his demon form on call! But he had done just that, and fear lanced down his spine in a cold rush. His knees buckled and it was only Dante's rushed help that kept him from falling down.

Wildly looking around the room, Vergil's ice blue eyes met Lady's bi-coloured irises. He saw astonishment there, and something else, something that made his stomach clench painfully.

What he saw in her eyes was revulsion.

Tearing his gaze away from hers he looked at the Chu couple instead. Both looked as calm and knowing as ever.

"What the Hell happened?" Vergil ground out angrily as he pushed away Dante's supporting arms. "Why couldn't I change?"

"It seems that you've used up your reserves of demon energy," Mr. Chu explained calmly as if a dangerous, increasingly upset and scared (though Vergil would never admit it) half-demon wasn't glaring daggers at him.

"I take it you've been part of a situation where you've extensively used your demon form?" Mrs. Chu inquired.

"Yeah," Dante said slowly as Vergil just nodded dumbly. "We were in the Demon Tower … doing stuff."

Dante had ended his sentence lamely but he hardly wanted to admit that they had been basically trying to kill each other. Perhaps he didn't have to though; the Chus seemed to have a way of knowing these things, and it made him highly uncomfortable.

"We used it several times in the Temen-Ni-Gru, but we were always able to return to our demon forms after a short period of time," Vergil continued, completely composed again, at least on the outside.

"That was easily done since the Demon Tower was a conduit for demon energies, yes?" Mrs. Chu said. "It was easy for you to 're-charge' as it were. However with the downfall of the Tower it is not so easy for you to regain your powers. It will take time and patience."

'_There's that damned word again!'_ Dante scowled. He was never one for patience; that was Vergil's gig. But judging by the look in his brother's eyes right now, Dante didn't think Vergil was in a very patient mood either.

"There is a way to speed up the process," Mr. Chu answered in anticipation of their next question. "Defeating other demons would make them release their own energies, and your bodies could absorb that. However, as you've already stated, there are risks. The lack of your own demon powers make you more vulnerable than you normally would be."

"I can take on _any_ demon," Vergil all but growled.

Dante and Lady looked at him sharply. His tone was low and dangerous as if he was challenging Mr. Chu for what he said. To his credit the blind shop owner remained unruffled.

"Here," Mrs. Chu wheeled herself forward. From her dress' pocket she took out something.

"What is it?" Dante asked politely, trying to cover up for his brother's increasing agitation.

"These are special rings that glow when they are near demon energies," she explained as she handed Dante one. "They won't glow in reaction to your own powers though; you're not that powerful yet to make it shine. You can use it to track down loci of demon energies and thus renew your own depleted stores. But be careful; other demons in the area might also be attracted to the locus."

"Thanks," Dante smiled and looked at the ring on the palm of his hand. It was simple in design, just a plain silver band with a small red garnet stone set in the center.

Looking over at Vergil he saw that his twin had received the same ring as him except his stone was a light blue aquamarine. Their eyes met for a moment before both slipped their rings on their right middle fingers.

"And one for the lady as well," Mrs. Chu said as she stopped by Lady's seat.

"Oh, I don't need it. I'm fully human," she said, holding her palms up in refusal.

"Nonetheless, it is a useful tool for a demon hunter, eh?" Mrs. Chu chuckled as she pressed the remaining ring in the younger woman's hands.

"Ah, thank you," Lady said, momentarily lost in Mrs. Chu's depthless dark brown eyes.

"You are quite welcome, dear," she said as she returned by her husband's side.

As she was wheeling herself across the floor, Lady looked at her ring. Unlike the Sparda twin's her band was made of gold. It had a braided design to it, and her centerpiece was a deep green peridot.

She put on her ring, and looking up, she saw that she had placed it on the same finger as the two men. An uneasy feeling made her want to switch fingers, but after a moment of thought, decided to leave it for now. She could always change its position later.

"Now, who's up for some lunch?"

All three looked at Mr. Chu as if he'd offered far more than food.

"It's almost noon," he said in explanation, and didn't wait for their answer as he began to putter away.

"Come now," Mrs. Chu grinned at their expressions, ranging from disbelieving to flat out distrustful. "I'd like to hear what it was like inside the Temen-Ni-Gru. It isn't every day a portal to the Demon World pops up in the city, does it?"

There was a general murmur of consensus before they followed their hosts back into the narrow hallway, Cerberus happily tagging behind. Walking in single file they went along after Mr. Chu who was only a few steps ahead of them.

"Hey," a thought suddenly struck Dante. "Some magic artifacts have demon energies in them, right?"

"Correct," Mrs. Chu nodded.

"Well how about some demon weapons?" Dante grinned. "Cerberus wasn't the only one who lent me their powers!"

"Oh?" Vergil stopped and turned back to face his brother.

"Yeah, I have a few more demon weapons," Dante said happily. "Maybe if we carry them around we'd regain our powers faster."

"And where _are_ they?" Vergil asked, hoping against hope they were easily reachable.

"In the Statue of Time."

"You mean the same statue Cerberus came from?" Lady pointed out behind Dante.

"Umm, yeah."

"The same statue that needs supernatural energies in order to be accessed?" Vergil immediately bit out.

"Yeah," Dante visibly deflated.

"The same statues that are buried under tonnes of rubble-"

"OK, I get the picture! It was a bad idea! Sheesh!" Dante cut Lady off. "I guess I shouldn't have put all my extra weapons inside it."

When the words were out of his mouth he winced. Lady caught the expression, as well as the guilty look in his eyes. Something snapped in her mind, and she suddenly _knew_ where her precious bazooka was.

"_Dante_," she said in a very threatening voice. "_Please_ don't tell me you left Kalina Ann inside the Statue of Time."

"Uuh," he said, backing up from the smaller woman's advancing form. His escape was curtailed by Vergil's immovable presence.

Halting before he ran into his brother, Dante was open to Lady's outstretched hands. She wrapped her gloved fingers around his throat and began to throttle him.

"You left Kalina Ann in there! How in Hell am I gonna get it now, huh? What are you going to do to get it back? I only _loaned _it to you, you numbskull! Ooh you better get it back Dante, come Hell or high water, or else I'll – I'll –"

She sputtered for a few moments, unable to come out with a reasonable threat. There was only so much you could do to harm a half-demon, weakened state or not. He'd probably recover from any gunshot wounds she inflicted on him. Probably.

"Hey, of course I will! No problem!" Dante said in between short gasps of air. He looked like the proverbial fish out of water, but she didn't notice. Looking past his shoulder she saw Vergil smirking. At _her_. It was that irritating _'you're such an imbecile'_ smirk that grated on her nerves _just so_. She'd only known him for a few days but he had pissing her off down to a tee.

Her cheeks flushing with anger she snapped, "and where do you think _your_ sword is?"

To her great satisfaction, and to Dante's immense trepidation, Vergil's expression immediately darkened. His piercing eyes re-directed themselves to his twin.

"_Don't_ tell me you put Yamato inside the Statue of Time," Vergil said in a low and dangerous voice.

"Uuh …"

Vergil's hands were instantly added to Lady's own, and Vergil began to squeeze. Hard.

"Hey!" Lady yelped as she felt his powerful fingers crushing her own. Vergil loosened his grip just enough to let her take her hands back, and then began to strangle his younger brother.

"Dante," he said in a perfectly flat voice. "I expect you to get Yamato back for me. Or else I will kill you in such an excruciating and terrifying manner that you will wish you _had_ left me back there in the Demon World. Am I understood?"

"Grhk!" was all Dante managed to say past his constricted throat.

"Good."

Without warning Vergil released his brother who promptly fell to his knees. Lady instinctively crouched down in front of him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Cerberus squirmed around her legs and the middle head nudged the coughing Dante with his frosty nose.

Glaring over Dante's bent head she stared into Vergil's eyes. They were cold and emotionless, just like his face.

Turning around, he started stalking after the Chus who had disappeared through an open door.

"You okay?" Lady asked as she brushed Dante's hair away from his eyes. His face had returned to its normal colouration though his cheeks were still a little red.

"Peachy," Dante said in a slightly raspy voice. He absent-mindedly patted Cerberus on the head to stop him from whining. In one smooth motion he suddenly rose to his feet.

Looking down he saw Lady giving him a contemplative stare.

"And that was him being easy on me," he said jovially.

"I imagine so," she said as she stood up as well. His cheery tone of voice didn't fool her, but there were some things you didn't say aloud. "Still up for lunch?"

"Always," he nodded as he gallantly swept his arms towards the open door. "After you, Lady."

"Thank you, good sir," she smiled and did a little bob/curtsey.

"And I can be _up_ for bedtime too," he winked at her suggestively.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes at him. Sometimes she thought she wasted her pity on him. But she let him walk close behind her till they reached the open door.

* * *

**A/N**: Oh mama, this chapter is _finally_ out of the way! (_Does a happy dance_.) Ah, the mood is still serious but it can't be helped. Just in case if anyone is wondering, I chose the gemstones for their colours only. There's no astrological, spiritual, etc. significance to them. I think. :P As always **reviews** are desired and appreciated. :)  



	6. Double Trouble

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To **Enrique Chavez, Meirelle** (UST indeed XP), **Yasmine, Valerathon, The Tyrant Hamster, Veronica** (squee:D), **Demerah, yodel** (thanks for sticking with me, dude or dudette!), **renderedvoice, Laryna6, **and** Ryoko-starwind**. Christmas cookies for you all!

**Disclaimer:** Capcom owns Devil May Cry but Dante owns my soul. XD … no really, please tell him to give it back to me. The automatic doors won't open for me anymore. :(

**A/N:** OK here's the next installment of the story! I think it's a bit rushed since I'm going on vacation for two weeks and I didn't want to leave you guys without an update. So sorry if this chapter sucks. :( Anyway Merry Christmas to all and have a happy holiday!

* * *

**Chapter 06: Double Trouble**

Wordlessly the three unwilling housemates walked back to Dante's flat. They hadn't learned anything useful at the Chus' clock shop and everyone was tired and disheartened.

'_But at least we're well fed,'_ Lady thought as she glanced at the silent Sparda twins. As usual Vergil had taken the lead while Dante trudged along beside her. His cheeks were still a little red, and even his nose was coloured too. He'd flip his bangs out of his eyes every so often, and then sniff loudly.

'_I hope he's not sick,'_ she thought and wondered if demons could even fall ill to human sicknesses. She'd never heard of such a thing happening, but then again, Dante was only half-demon. And currently powerless to boot.

Digging in his pants' pocket, Dante came up with a crumpled looking tissue and wiped his nose.

Turning her eyes back to the front (and consequently seeing Vergil's broad back), she thought back on lunch with the Chu couple. They had been served rice, beef stir fry (done rare for the Sparda brothers' portions), and steamed vegetables. Lady was just happy that there had been no pizza slice in sight.

She had helped Mr. Chu bring laden trays to the kitchen table. Vergil had just seated himself and sulked, while Dante had a quiet conversation with Mrs. Chu.

While she was loading a tray with bowls of rice, Mr. Chu had touched her hand. She looked at him questioningly, but he had just smiled.

"Do not worry so much about your father," he had whispered to her, making her almost drop the bowl. "He was who he was, and you are who you are. Do not let his shadow darken your life."

"I … I don't know what you mean," she had stammered as she quickly set the food down.

He had just chuckled lightly and cast her a knowing look (which was weird since he had no irises). Then he'd taken his tray and turned to the table. After a moment of composing herself, Lady did the same.

'_What did he mean? And how did he know my fath … that man? Or does he know him?'_ Lady asked herself for the thousandth time since they'd left the shop. It was true that one of Arkham's hobbies had been collecting ancient tomes concerning demons. Perhaps he had contact with the Chus in that regard?

'_Nevermind,'_ she shook her head in irritation. _That man_ was dead now, and it didn't matter who he knew.

"You okay?" Dante asked but mashed the words so that it sounded like, "y'okay?"

"I was about to ask you that," she said half-teasingly. Looking at him again she saw that his face looked almost as pale as Vergil's but his cheeks and nose were red. Once again he sniffed loudly and then smothered a cough.

Stopping on the sidewalk, which made Dante stop as well, she raised her hand and felt his forehead. To her surprise his skin was incredibly hot.

"You have a fever!" she said with a frown. "How did that happen? Did one of your injuries get infected?"

"Nah, mine were all healed by this morning," he said, and couldn't help shooting Vergil's back a smug look. He knew his brother's wounds were still there by the way Vergil carried himself. His actions were slightly slower than usual, and he didn't make any sudden movements with his arms. Oh, it wasn't like Vergil wouldn't kick his ass if he _really_ pissed him off, but his twin was trying to not aggravate his wounds either.

"Well you should get home as soon as possible and rest," she insisted as she took the backpack Cerberus currently sat in. Lady tried putting it on her back but immediately took it off again. The bag was _freezing_ and the cold temperature hadn't done Dante any favours. No wonder he was getting sick so fast.

"Sorry," she said to Cerberus as she let the bag dangle from her arms. There was no way she was carrying Cerberus and she doubted Vergil would willingly play pack mule for them. As it was he was impatiently waiting for them at a street corner. He shot them a venomous look and then proceeded back to Dante's flat when they both caught up to him.

Dante stuck out his tongue at his brother, and Lady grinned.

The threesome made it to the apartment without further incident. After letting a grateful Cerberus out of the bag, Lady steered an unresisting Dante to the cot she'd used last night.

He lay down with a relieved sigh while kicking off his boots. Lady rummaged for some blankets but came out empty. Instead she settled for the remains of his coat, and draped it over his body.

"Thanks," he mumbled, his eyelids already half closed.

"No problem," she smiled.

"If you ever quit demon slaying, you'd make a great nurse," he grinned.

"Heh, yeah. My mom-," she stopped suddenly. Lady looked away and then awkwardly patted his arm.

"I better go and let you get some rest."

"All right," he said softly. He recognized that look in her face and eyes. How often had he seen the same thing in the mirror?

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" he asked to break the mood.

"It's not nighttime, dummy," Lady scoffed good-naturedly. "And I still wouldn't when night comes."

"Aww," he mock pouted.

With a final crooked smile she left the room.

Once she was in the main area Lady ran her fingers through her hair and sighed loudly. Now what would she do?

'_This place is a mess,'_ she wrinkled her nose at the sight of Dante's myriad of boxes, bins, and junk. True it wasn't as chaotic as before but the place still needed a good cleaning. She didn't think she'd ever get used to seeing this dump.

'_And I think most of this stuff is useless'_ she frowned as she idly sifted through the contents of a box. Really, what in the world was Dante thinking when he got all these bits and pieces?

'If we're going to live here, we need to get some of the basics. But first things first.' 

Quietly walking back into the room Dante occupied, she rifled through his pockets and got the keys to the flat. He was so tired that he didn't even stir at her entrance, and she was grateful for that. She could only imagine his reaction if he'd woken up to her hands in his pockets. Suffice it to say she'd probably have to beat him again.

With her prize in hand Lady also took all of her armaments in the area. She tiptoed out of the room and missed the smile on Dante's lips as she closed the door.

'_I so knew she wanted me!'_ he cackled to himself as he shifted to a more comfortable position. _'Yep, I still got it!'_

In the other room Lady was re-arming herself. It felt good to feel the familiar weight of all her guns. Kalina Ann's presence was still missing (_'that idiot Dante better get her back!'_) but Lady felt much better now that she was armed once again.

"Going somewhere?"

Lady started and looked at the source of the voice. Vergil was standing in front of the dirty west windows and staring out at the streets below.

"Yeah," she said shortly as she adjusted a shoulder strap. The image of his devil form was still in her mind, even though she'd only seen it for a second. It was a poignant reminder that he, and his brother, ridiculous as he was sometimes, were still demons. But one of the brothers was more demonic in nature than the other.

'_Just like Father.'_

The thought crossed her mind before she could stop it. With a grimace she savagely tightened the gun holsters on her waist and crammed her handguns into their holders. Done with her preparations she walked towards the freight elevator.

"Be back before dark."

Once again his voice stopped her. Whipping her head to face him, Lady scowled. That statement sounded very much like an order. And she didn't take those from _anyone_, much less a half-demon bastard.

"Dante said this neighbourhood was dangerous, more so after dark."

Lady stared at him for a moment before nodding.

"Fine," she said when she realized he had his back turned to her. Without further words she walked to the freight elevator and used Dante's key to unlock the gate. Sliding it open she stepped inside and jammed another key into the elevator's bank of buttons. This activated the elevator and she closed the gate. Pressing the button for the ground floor she rode it down to the first level.

* * *

With a loud yawn Dante returned to the waking world. He groaned as he felt his sore muscles complain at his sudden movements. His head wasn't feeling so good either. 

'_Damn, what a time to get sick!'_ he griped internally as he waited for the room to stop spinning.

When he was younger Vergil and him had _never_ gotten sick. It was usually an excuse to gloat over classmates who did get ill. Now Dante wondered how they'd ever managed to survive. It was even worse than being hung over, and he'd had plenty of experience with that.

"Ugh," he sniffed loudly. He needed to blow his nose. And then maybe he'd go get drunk so he wouldn't be conscious enough to feel so crappy.

Stiffly rising from the cot he let his coat fall to the floor. It was too damned _hot_ in here, and it was making his mouth feel like a desert.

Dante made it to the door though he had to lean against the wall a couple of times. The room constantly decided to spin and twirl like some mad dancer, and it made some bile rise to his mouth.

Hastily he opened the door and staggered out. Late afternoon sunlight lanced into his eyes, and he quickly shut them. Vigorously rubbing his eyelids with the heel of his hand he blindly made his way to the brown couch.

Not checking to see if Vergil was on it, Dante threw himself onto the cushions. It was a relief to finally be off his feet, even though the distance between the cot and the couch wasn't that great. Compared to that the effort needed to reach the 'kitchen' sink seemed almost impossible to him.

"God, I want some water," he sighed loudly. Just thinking about some ice-cold refreshment made him drool.

"Here you go."

There was a _clink_ sound. Turning to his left Dante saw that a glass of water had been placed on top of some plastic bins.

"Thanks," Dante said as he took it. He greedily swallowed half of it down before leaning back and sighing.

"Ah, that hits the spot! But it's not cold."

"Cerberus!"

The three-headed puppy scampered over from wherever he'd been hiding and sat down at Dante's feet.

"Good idea, bro," Dante grinned and leaned down. He let the three heads sniff the glass' bottom, and he felt it getting cold. When the cup was frosted over he drank from it again, and the chilled water served to clear his head.

"Ah!" Dante said with more gusto. "At least we found a use for him aside from making me sick. Heh, now I can chill my beer like that."

Dante snapped his fingers and then set the glass back down. What he saw next made his good mood evaporate like water on a hot plate.

"No. No, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOO!"

He shot up from the couch and backed away. Dante didn't notice another one of Cerberus' 'accidents' and slipped on the ice puddle. He fell heavily on his back and groaned.

'_My life sucks ass.'_

But at least the ice felt good on his hot body.

* * *

"Hey, chica. What's a good-looking broad like you doing here?" 

Lady glared stonily at the greasy looking thug blocking her way. Him and his cronies had spotted her as she'd entered the street. Young, attractive, and both hands occupied with luggage. It didn't get better than this.

"Heh, she looks like used goods," another man said, leering at her as he did so.

She scowled at him when she saw him staring at the scar across the bridge of her nose. Lady had gotten it on the first demon hunt she'd ever gone on, and she considered it a badge of courage.

"Doesn't matter. She's still good enough for us," the first man laughed and his five friends joined in. They reminded her of a pack of hyenas: not particularly bright, downright creepy, and utterly ruthless.

The leader, a typical looking slime ball, thrust his groin at her.

"Come with us, chica. We'll treat you reeeeeal good," he crooned at her.

Lady kicked his family jewels with her steel-toed boots.

"**ARGH!**" he cried out in pain as he doubled over. His gang stood in shock for a moment before rushing towards her in anger.

"Hold it," she said icily as she drew out one of her handguns. It was one of her smaller ones, a 10 mm Glock automatic pistol. She pointed the muzzle at the closest thug, and their urban honed instincts made them all freeze immediately.

"What are you morons waiting for? Get he-urk!"

Lady pistol-whipped the leader on the back of the head. He fell like a sack of potatoes.

"Back up," she barked, letting her eyes grow cold. She'd dealt with similar miscreants before, and she knew that violence was often the answer to these situations. This was the only thing they understood, and she was going to send them a very clear message.

The group had retreated a few steps at her harsh words except for one. He looked young and eager to prove himself to his peers. This man had just taken one step back, and he had a calculating look to his eyes.

'_Better to learn this lesson from me,'_ she thought. Others could very well be more brutal about it. Carefully aiming her gun, she shot him in the right thigh.

"Aaaah!" he immediately fell to the floor. Clutching at his wound he started crying while the rest of the gang fled.

"When I say back off, I mean it," she said shortly. Stepping over his prone body she continued on her way.

Lady rounded the corner before she found herself unexpectedly accompanied.

"What are you doing here?" Lady asked in shock. One moment she had been alone, and in the next step, Vergil was beside her.

"I went to get groceries," he said flatly as if it was normal for Mr. I-Almost-Brought-Hell-To-Earth to do so. In fact he was carrying a brown paper bag full of food items in one arm. His right hand was tucked in his ruined coat's pocket.

"Oh," Lady said dumbly. What else was there to say?

Silence reigned between them till they reached the freight elevator.

"So," Lady said uncomfortably, "did anyone bother you while you were out?"

"You mean like how those men _bothered_ you?" he smirked.

"You were there?" she scowled.

"I saw what happened," Vergil admitted. "You handled yourself well enough. And yes, three separate groups _bothered_ me on my way back."

Another silence came.

"There are three less gangs in the neighbourhood now, isn't there?" she asked quietly.

Vergil answered with a satisfied and cruel smile.

The elevator _dinged_ and he opened the gate. They both stepped into the flat only to hear Dante saying, "no, no, no," over and over again.

"Dante?" Lady asked as she dragged her wheeled luggage further into the apartment. She wondered if his fever had made him delirious.

As for his twin, Vergil just calmly entered what he assumed to be the kitchen area and began to unpack the groceries.

Lady found the sick Sparda brother lying on the floor. He was in the middle of a puddle and had laid an arm across his eyes.

"Come on, get up," Lady grunted as she all but dragged Dante to his feet. Guiding him to the couch, she sat him down and looked him over.

His shirt was soaking wet, and his hair looked damp and messy. Dark circles were starting to form around his eyes, and after checking his forehead again, she felt that he was still feverish.

Tsking at his untidy state, she put her hands on her hips and sighed.

"Dante, what were you doing just lying there? Getting wet and cold will make you sicker!" she admonished him.

"Gimme a break! I just saw something _nasty_," he shuddered.

"You finally noticed this pigsty?" Vergil mocked.

"Shut up," Dante growled. "And no, that wasn't what I meant."

Lady rolled her eyes. Honestly, they were so childish sometimes. It was a good thing _she_ was there to be the mature and reasonable voice in their conversations.

"Get into these before you catch pneumonia," Lady said as she tossed him some of his old sweat clothes. It conveniently interrupted what seemed to be an imminent argument.

"Argh! Shut up!" Dante shouted.

Lady instantly threw the closest thing at hand towards his head. The plastic rabbit bobble-head impacted on his cranium with a nice thud.

"What did you say?" she asked, her eyes blazing.

"No, no! I wasn't talking to you!" Dante said immediately. "I was talking to them!"

"Them?" she cocked an eyebrow.

Following his pointing fingers, Lady saw that there were two figurines standing on some plastic bins near the couch.

"Oh look, Dante's made some new friends," Vergil grinned from over the kitchen counter.

"We're his _old_ friends," the red figurine suddenly exclaimed. "Isn't that right, brother?"

"Indeed, brother. We were with him in the Temen-Ni-Gru," the blue one added.

"What are those?" Lady asked after a pregnant pause.

"Don't tell me. Barbie and Ken," Vergil quipped. Indeed, the two figures were about the size of a Barbie (A/N: 11 inches or about 28 cm tall).

"I'm Agni/ I'm Rudra," they said in stereo.

There was another pause.

"He's Agni," Dante pointed at the red one, "and he's Rudra."

"More demon weapons?" Vergil inquired.

"Obviously."

"So they transformed too," Lady said speculatively as she approached the pair. They had broad shoulders and muscular limbs. Baggy pants were all the clothing they wore, and they had no hair whatsoever. Their eyes were a glowing uniform yellow.

"Unfortunately," Dante snorted as he glared at them. "They've been talking to me nonstop for the last hour! I thought I would go insane! And didn't you two promise me no talking?"

"We did, didn't we?" Rudra turned to Agni.

"Yes but that was only if he brought us along with him. And we did keep our end of the bargain," the red-skinned demon said.

"You're right. Since we are free once more to walk where we choose, he doesn't have to bring us along with him anymore," his blue coloured sibling answered.

"That means our promise has been fulfilled and- "

"Look, I don't care if you can walk now!" Dante butted in. "But so help me God. Or Satan," he amended when he saw Lady's raised eyebrow, "I will toss you off a skyscraper if you don't shut your yap. I _cannot_ stand anyone who talks more than me."

"This could be poetic justice then," Vergil grinned wolfishly.

Dante stuck his middle finger at him.

"That was rude, wasn't it, brother?" Agni commented.

"Yes. That wasn't brotherly of him at all," Rudra agreed.

"Argh, that's it!" Dante shouted. "Cerberus, attack!"

Two of the puppy's heads just looked at him while the left one began to chew on his butt.

"Good boy," Lady laughed while Dante sighed in defeat. "But tell us, how many more weapons are there?"

"Umm, two more, maybe four."

"Maybe?" Vergil asked.

"Well … for two of them they weren't weapons per se. They were more like … abilities," he shrugged.

"Greeeeat," Lady said as she walked back to her luggage. She took the handles and rolled one near the couch while carrying the other.

"What's that?" Dante asked.

"My stuff. I had to walk all the way to the hotel I was staying at," Lady said as she joined him on the couch. It felt good to finally get off her feet. "Too bad my bike got destroyed when the Demon Tower fell."

"Yes … the Tower broke your bike …" Dante muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," he gave her his most beguiling grin, which meant she wasn't fooled one bit. But seeing how awful he looked, she let it slide. For now.

"Anyway," she turned away with a sniff, "I thought I might as well bring my stuff over here. Till I decide what to do next, that is."

"Hey, pretty company is always welcomed," Dante made a sweeping gesture with his arm, intentionally trying to knock Agni and Rudra off their bins. However they neatly hopped over his hand and settled on the backrest of the couch.

"Dinner," Vergil called flatly.

"What?" Dante said in confusion.

"It's time for supper, you retard," Lady teased as she rose from the couch. "Come on, you need to eat to get better."

Dante allowed her to take his hand and drag him to the kitchen. He didn't know what was weirder, his devil arms coming back to _'life'_, Lady being _nice_ to him, or Vergil _cooking.

* * *

_

**A/N:** Review if you like it or have constructive criticisms! Have a nice holiday:)_  
_


	7. Breadwinner

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To **renderedvoice**, **Laryna6**, **Meirelle **(thanks for your support!), **Yasmine**, **Sam Valentine**, **Some Random Reviewer** (o.O), **Hithluwen**, **The Tyrant Hamster **( 3), **Ryoko-starwind**, **yodel**, **Rock-Angel150**, **Veronica** ( 3), **Cat the devilhunter** (sorry if I misspell your name; is picky about symbols), **Baka Zero**, **Demerah**, **Kerrianne Harrington** (glad you're still with me!), **Dark**, **kiliho**, **Avrile**, **KarribuHater**, **BladeMaster16**, **ShadesofBlood**, and **Zeromaru Chaos Mode**. Phew, I think that's all of you! Thank you all _so much_ for your reviews!

**Disclaimer:** Capcom owns the rights to Devil May Cry but I own peanuts! … Can we trade?

**A/N:** OK I'm back from holidays! LOL but I had this string of one-shots that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote them! This chapter is long overdue, yes, but unfortunately it's one of those "got to get it out of the way," type things. I promise the next one will be much better/funnier. (Evil laughter).

* * *

**Chapter 07: Breadwinner**

With a satisfied smile, Lady wiped her hands on a rag and took a look around the room.

Things were finally starting to look decent around here, and that was saying something. They had all worked hard, well, almost all of them, and it showed. Now Dante's flat was starting to look like a proper home instead of a dump.

The trio had pooled all of their money together and had come up with a total of about $2000 dollars. Using that capital they'd bought much needed stuff like furniture, appliances, clothes, and everyday items. Of course they'd had to go to thrift and second hand stores, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

'_But Agni and Rudra are Godsends!' _ Lady thought as she watched the two small demons running around the place. Like their master they were habitual packrats, but unlike Dante the stuff they scavenged were usually useful. With a little fixing and elbow grease most of their garbage finds were practically as good as new. She'd decorated most of the flat with their 'treasures', and was pleased with the results.

A large Oriental rug a hotel had thrown away dominated the center of the room. It was green in colour and a little threadbare in a few places, but it was still serviceable. She'd arranged their newly bought futon couch on it, as well as a couple of armchairs, an ottoman, and a coffee table.

One of Agni and Rudra's best finds was a still functioning TV. It had a 32-inch screen and its only fault was that it didn't play coloured pictures. But that was all right since none of them were big on watching television anyway; it was just nice to have.

The kitchen, or Vergil's domain, as she liked to think of it, now sported a working stove, a toaster oven, a coffee maker, plates, cups, and eating utensils. An old fridge noisily hummed in the background, but it kept the food cold so no one minded the noise.

Lady had officially claimed the small room for herself. They'd thrown away the old cot and had bought a twin-sized bed. She'd also gotten a small vanity table, mirror, and stool, as well as a cabinet for her clothes.

The twins slept in the main room where they'd taken over the south side. Vergil had bought a large folding screen made of rice paper and black lacquered wood. The artwork on it had faded, but she could still vaguely see the cranes and sea scenes painted on it. He used it to divide his 'room' from Dante's.

Naturally Vergil's area was closest to the west wall windows while Dante's was near the bathroom. The red clad devil didn't mind much since his illness made bathroom stops an irritating and frequent necessity.

They both had futon beds, a drawer set for clothes, and end tables to put knick-knacks on. Though they were twins, Vergil's side was _much_ neater than Dante's.

"Excuse me," Rudra said as he ran past Lady's feet. He was using his powers to create a mini-tornado to suck dust off the floor. It made things much simpler since they didn't need to buy a vacuum.

"Pardon me!" Agni said quickly after as he jogged by while balancing a bucket and rag over his head. It looked like he was going to give the windows another washing.

Lady was grateful that the two demons didn't mind, nay, seemed to _like_ doing chores. Vergil thought it was beneath him and Dante was a natural slob so no one else was really willing to do them. She wasn't crazy about housework either, but she refused to live in a mess any longer.

_Bbrrrring. Bbrrrring._

"I got it," Dante said hoarsely as he shifted on the futon couch. He sniffed loudly as he groped for the phone on a nearby end table. After the fifth ring he managed to get the receiver off the cradle and near his head.

He didn't bother saying hello; Dante listened to the person on the other end for a few minutes than said, "sorry pal, wrong number."

Dante instantly hung up.

"Who was it?" Lady asked curiously.

"Feh, some jerk looking for a hitman," Dante mumbled as he re-arranged himself on the couch.

"Not your line of work?" Vergil asked condescendingly. He was currently wiping down a pine bookshelf he was planning on moving to the east wall. The elder Sparda didn't know how long he'd be here, but at least he'd be well entertained. The idiot box his brother preferred would only lower his intelligence.

"I don't go after humans," Dante glared at his twin.

"Well … I'm not saying you should," Lady cut in as the brothers stared each other down. "But we're kind of in a bind here. Our money is almost completely gone."

She didn't have to say that they needed some way to get more cash.

"Huh, don't worry, babe," Dante turned to grin at her. "I asked my, uh, _liaison_ to spread the word that I changed my number. We should be getting some legit calls soon."

"Legit calls?" she furrowed her brows.

"The ones with the pass code," Dante said easily as he reached for a tissue.

Lady was about to press him further when the phone rang again.

_Bbrrrring._

Hooking the receiver with his forefinger, Dante brought it to his face. Again he was silent as he listened to the caller.

"OK, what's the address?"

He listened intently for a moment.

"All right, I'll be right there."

Dante tossed the receiver and it landed on its cradle with a clack.

"See, whad I tell ya?" he asked as he sat up.

"What did the person ask for this time?" Lady inquired curiously.

"There's a demon infestation at an old factory and the new owner's asked me to … clean it up," Dante said as he unsteadily got to his feet.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" she asked dubiously.

"Hey, it's me we're talking about 'ere!" Dante spread his arms wide and gave her a confident grin.

"Exactly," Vergil muttered.

"I defeated the Demon Tower, didn't I?" his brother shot him a look. '_And I beat you too,'_ he didn't have to add.

"Yeah but you're sick," Lady frowned with concern. The fever hadn't gone away and Dante had been nauseous and dizzy for days.

"It's only Lesser Demons from the looks of it. It'll be a piece of, _achoo_! Cake," he sniffed.

"Uh huh," she strode over to him and pushed him on the chest. Lady easily managed to topple him back onto the couch. "Since it's just small fries, I'll go."

"You?" Vergil and Dante asked in unison.

"Yes me!" she snapped. "The Temen-Ni-Gru wasn't the first time I hunted demons. I can take care of myself."

"That's not the issue here," Vergil frowned. "Don't you recall what the Chus said? It's possible for us to speed up our recovery by absorbing demon energies. This would be an opportune occasion for us to do so."

"Mm hmm," she said and looked at him. "So what are you going to use? Your fists?"

Vergil opened his mouth to retort, then stopped.

'_Blast! I forgot that brainless Dante left Yamato inside the Statue of Space and Time,'_ he glared at his younger sibling. It was true he didn't have a weapon of his own, but he'd be damned if he conceded to Lady.

"I can use Rebellion."

"No way! Over my dead body!" Dante shot to his feet in anger.

"That can be arranged," Vergil said icily as he rose as well.

"Here. Catch."

Having walked over to Dante's area, Lady had picked up Rebellion from its place against the wall and taken it to the living room. She tossed Vergil the large broadsword, much to Dante's dismay.

The older twin deftly caught it but couldn't stop the wince on his face. His other hand automatically went to his torso where his injury was still slowing healing.

"It looks like you're out of commission for a while too," Lady said with a triumphant smirk. "That leaves me."

"It's too dangerous," Dante said after he'd retrieved his beloved sword.

"I can deal with it," Lady almost growled in irritation. "You didn't have a problem leaving me with demons the last time."

"That was different," Dante said uncomfortably. It was true he'd left her to mop up seven Lesser Demons when he'd emerged from Leviathan. But he had bigger fish to fry, and she _did_ manage to take care of them.

"No it wasn't," she said firmly. "It's decided. I'm going."

Without waiting for their consent she went into her room. In a few moments she'd changed into another one of her kilts; this time it was red with blue and gray lines running through it. An unbuttoned white, short-sleeved dress shirt was over a simple white t-shirt. She'd tied the bottom of the dress shirt into a small bow. Her ever-faithful red combat boots graced her feet. Lady was also carrying a black duffle bag over her shoulder.

"I'll be sure to be back before nightfall," she winked at the two sulky Spardas. "Now where's the place?"

Sighing in defeat Dante told her the address.

"Huh, it's kind of far," she wrinkled her nose as she walked to the elevator. "I guess I have to bus it."

"You should take one of us with you," Vergil suddenly said. His two companions looked at him.

"So one of us can absorb the demon energies," he barely managed to keep from rolling his eyes at them. Seriously, why else would he suggest it?

"Yeah, maybe he's right," Dante chipped in. "You know, just in case it gets too rough for you."

Lady almost stamped her foot in annoyance. What was up with these two idiots? Couldn't they just accept that she could handle it on her own? Or were their male egos hurt because they were too injured to tag along?

Deciding that they needed one last tongue-lashing before she left, an idea popped into her head.

"Oh, I'll take a demon with me all right," Lady suddenly chuckled. Puckering her lips, she let out a loud whistle.

"Cerberus, here boy!"

The hellish puppy scampered out from under Dante's office desk (his new official home). He made a beeline for Lady and pawed at her legs.

"OK, I'm off! Don't blow this place up while I'm gone," she grinned as they stepped into the freight elevator. Using the set of keys Dante had made for her, she activated the bank of buttons and pressed the one for the ground floor.

The two half-demons watched her go.

"Lady certainly has a way with them, doesn't she?" Rudra asked his brother.

"Indeed. It is most impressive," Agni agreed.

"Shut up," Vergil and Dante said in stereo. Then they looked at each other. They would be together in the same apartment. With Agni and Rudra. For the entire afternoon. With nothing much to do.

'_Damn,'_ both thought.

* * *

The bus stopped besides a dirt road that was bordered with trees on either side. The back doors of the vehicle opened and Lady and her 'pet' stepped out.

'_Well that was interesting,'_ Lady grinned to herself as she watched the bus go. Its tires squealed as the driver gunned the engine to get away from them pronto.

She'd forgotten to bring a bag to carry Cerberus in so she'd had no choice but to let him walk beside her. The three-headed puppy had stayed relatively close to her, and only left her immediate presence when he chased pigeons and other birds. They'd boarded the bus with no problems, and the other passengers hadn't mentioned a thing about the strange dog. Surely they'd seen his extra heads, but everyone pretended that they didn't.

Everything had been fine till a bee had flown in an open window. The left head, or "Lefty" as Dante had so creatively dubbed it, had snapped at it, but the insect had deftly avoided his jaws. Lefty wouldn't stand for that and so a merry chase had ensued.

The bus driver almost crashed the vehicle when Cerberus had suddenly slammed onto the pedals. The driver braked hard and was about to swear at the puppy when he'd caught sight of the three heads. The sharp teeth and strangely glowing eyes hadn't helped much either.

In the end Lady had to retrieve Cerberus and sit at the very back of the bus. The driver eventually continued on his route and could be heard loudly trying to convince himself that he hadn't seen what he'd seen. The other passengers had hastily exited on the next bus stop.

As what most people did when confronted with the supernatural, they either tried to reason it out or completely ignored it.

'_Oh well, I guess it could have been worse,'_ Lady shrugged as she began to walk up the dirt road. The 'regular folk' would come up with their own ideas on what had happened today. She had other things to do than try to explain what the guardian of the gates to Hell was doing on a city bus.

After a ten minute walk the path suddenly opened up to a large lot. Lady stopped for a moment to look at the building looming before her.

It was indeed a factory, a brewery to be exact. She could see large brass coloured vats through the broken windows set in the building. Long and twisting pipes ran alongside the ceiling and three tall metal chimneys could be seen at the top.

No lights were on inside, and it was eerily silent. The sunlight illuminated the beige walls of the place, as well as the metal doors that were chained shut.

"Is this the right place?" she asked herself as she looked around. She knew it had taken them over an hour to get here, but she didn't think the owner would leave when someone had promised to get rid of his nasty problems.

As if on cue a luxury sedan emerged from the trees. It approached her slowly and stopped a few feet away. The engine shut off with an audible sigh before the driver side door opened.

An older man in a tailored business suit stepped out. His salt and pepper moustache was bushy but well combed. The wind played with his fashionably cut hair, and his cool gray eyes seemed to look down at her.

"Are you Dante?" he asked sharply and with evident disbelief.

"He's busy. You can call me Lady," she replied just as tersely.

"I was expecting someone else," he pursed his lips.

"Well you got me," Lady folded her arms across her chest. "Do you want me to take care of your _problem_ or should I leave?"

The man gave her a long appraising look, and she didn't break eye contact. Finally he heaved a troubled sigh and nodded.

"Yes, you'll do," he said wearily. "My name is Mr. Gunderson."

"Nice to meet you," she said flatly as she took his outstretched hand. He gave her hand a solid squeeze and a brief shake before letting go.

"I'm from out of state and was looking to expand my business here," he gave an unasked explanation. "When I caught site of this property, I was … intrigued. As you can see it is quite a nice lot, and it came at a very reasonable price."

"I suppose you found out why it was so cheap," Lady snorted.

"Indeed," he nodded again. "The … _problem_ began almost as soon as I started having the brewery renovated. My company makes cribs."

"Oh," she looked at him strangely. He didn't seem the type of man who wanted to make baby cribs.

"I come from a long line of carpenters," he unexpectedly smiled at her expression. "You could say it's in my blood."

"Ah, I see," she nodded as she looked at the brewery again. His words had hit her without warning.

'In the blood, huh? Sparda's blood, Arkham's blood … are we all just following our fathers' fates?

"Well," Lady said brusquely, "I better get started then."

"I suppose you should," Mr. Gunderson checked the sky. "They like to come out during the night though."

"Don't worry. We'll get them all," Lady smiled. If she had a mirror she would have been surprised at the predatory delight in her expression.

"We?"

"My partner and I," she pointed at her feet. The client looked down and finally noticed Cerberus. The puppy was staring intently at the factory, his hackles rising and a snarl curling all three lips.

"Don't worry, he's with me," she assured him when she saw Mr. Gunderson going pale.

"If you say so, Lady," he said as he nervously took out a handkerchief from his breast pocket. Mopping at his suddenly sweaty forehead he muttered, "I didn't see him before."

"Before?"

"I was waiting in the woods and watching out for you with this," he took out a pair of expensive looking binoculars. "I didn't want to stay near the brewery if I could help it."

"I understand," she nodded as she set her duffle bag down. Unzipping it, she began to take out her weaponry.

Mr. Gunderson watched in silent incredulity as she began extracting Uzis, a Kalashnikov type rifle, a shotgun, and several different models of pistols.

Lady took her time choosing her guns; the ones she didn't want went back in the bag. Once she'd chosen her arsenal she placed the correct gun clips in her ammo belt.

"Is all that necessary?" he asked tensely as he watched her slip knives in her boots.

"Most likely," she replied in a business like tone. It was never a bad thing to have too many weapons on a demon hunt. "Now I suggest you stay out here while we take care of this. We'll come out when we're done."

"All right, here is the key for the padlock, " he handed her the item. "Good luck."

Mr. Gunderson quickly re-entered his car. The engine roared to life, and he backed up into the forest once more.

"Humph," Lady snorted.

Tugging at the rifle's shoulder strap, she began to walk towards the factory, Cerberus running at her heels.

They reached the rusted front doors, and Lady unlocked the thick padlock holding the chains closed. Letting them drop to the floor, she cautiously opened a door.

Cerberus darted inside, but she didn't call out to him. He was a demon dog after all, and didn't need her to protect him.

Stepping inside, she nudged the door close with her foot since she didn't dare turn her back to the room. It was cavernous in here, and even though it was only the afternoon, deep shadows lingered in most places.

The summer sunlight glanced off the bronze brewing vats, and she squinted at the reflection. This reflected light did illuminate some parts of the room, but there were a lot of places the demons could hide. Catwalks crisscrossed above her, and old machinery littered the floor. Similar to Dante's flat before, dust hung thickly in the air and on the ground.

She held her 10 mm Glock in her right hand and a mini Uzi in her left. The Uzi also came with an attached bayonet at the top of the barrel. Another Uzi hung at her back, along with the AK assault rifle.

Lady continually scanned the room back and forth, her eyes and ears straining for any signs of her prey. A sudden howl above her made her point her guns up. Somehow Cerberus had managed to get on a catwalk and he was looking down at her, his eyes glowing brighter than she'd ever seen.

"What's the matter, boy?" she asked.

He didn't answer (not that she expected one) and ran off into the darkness once more.

"Huh," Lady frowned. He was acting weird.

Suddenly a green light attracted her attention. Looking at her right middle finger, she saw the ring Mrs. Chu had given her. The center stone was starting to glow a brilliant green.

"I guess it's useful after all," she smirked as she heard several loud booming sounds. Lesser Demons known to her as Prides and Lusts appeared around her, and she pointed her guns at the two closest ones. She sensed more shapes moving in the darkness, but she couldn't see what/where they were.

"Piece of cake, hmm?" she said as she stared a Pride down. "Yeah right."

* * *

**A/N:** FYI, Kalashnikov was a Russian colonel (I think that was his rank) who created the AK-47 type assault rifles. In honour of him, people refer to those types of rifles as Kalashnikovs. 


	8. Guns Are A Girl's Best Friends

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To **Laryna6** ( 3), **Evil Fang**, **The Tyrant Hamster **:), **HolyBatman!**, **rose-mirror21**, **Hithluwen**, **Kerrianne Harrington** (your questions are answered in this chapter!), **Some Random Reviewer**, **BladeMaster16 **(thanks for your previous suggestion!), **Meirelle** (hugz!), **Zeromaru Chaos Mode**, **Avrile**, **AnimeGamer10**, **Inujoey20**, **ulysess**, **Brandon**, **yodel** (glad you liked the last chappie!), **Yasmine**, and **Ryoko-starwind** (I hope you feel better!). Whoo! Chinese fortune cookies for you all!

**Disclaimer:** Gosh, I hate doing this! Devil May Cry isn't mine; Capcom owns it.

**A/N:** Umm, this chapter ran a little longer than expected so I didn't get to the part I thought I'd get to. Not much humour happening now but hopefully the action will make up for it? I tried to use the correct gymnastics' terms but eh, I'm not sure if I succeeded. Enjoy. :) Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcomed!

Oh and also, I'm not sure if some of you have tried to contact me via e-mail, but if you did so, your messages might have ended in my junk mail. I've got some ambiguous email but I played it safe and deleted it. Please make the title obvious to me so I can take your e-mail out of the junk mail folder! OK _now_ I'm done blabbing.

* * *

**Chapter 08: Guns Are a Girl's Best Friends  
**

Lady watched with some apprehension as the Prides and Lusts started walking towards her. It looked like they were planning on surrounding the lone devil hunter, but this wasn't the first time she's seen them do it.

Simultaneously squeezing the triggers of her pistol and Uzi, she sent bullets flying towards the two closest Prides. The projectiles went through the hooded demons' foreheads and they jerked backwards with the impact. Some sand fell from the holes in their heads, but aside from that they didn't seem too injured.

'Huh, they're tougher than usual,' Lady frowned as she dashed to the right. Usually a bullet to their vital areas was enough to put them down for the count. She briefly wondered at the cause of this new strength as she used her Uzi to send a spray of bullets at them. 

The automatic fire cut down a few Prides and Lusts but the majority managed to survive.

Lady ground to a halt as a Lust appeared from the shadows in front of her. She somersaulted backwards and immediately pointed the Glock as soon as she landed on her feet. A few bullets to its head ended that demon's time in the human world.

Then she noticed something that she had been too distracted to see before; the dead demon left behind a very faint spectral imprint in the air. It quickly dissolved into white mist that seemed to be sucked in by the green peridot of her ring. As soon as the mist was finished being absorbed by the center stone, it would glow just a little brighter.

The Lust's interference and the odd behaviour of the ring allowed the other Lesser Demons to catch up. Several Prides used their scythes to swipe down at Lady's exposed back. She twisted out of the way and used the momentum to pivot herself around.

The Uzi went to work once more and barraged the demons with bullets. The front rank fell in a rain of sand but the demons behind them used it as a cover. They suddenly dashed at her, and she barely managed to avoid them. Her legs went into a split and she dropped to the floor. Lady felt her hair move as the scythes rent the air above her. Once they were done swinging she went into a reverse split which put her back on her feet.

Her right arm raised and she emptied the pistol's clip into as many demons as she could. Holstering the Glock, her hand went around her body and took hold of the other Uzi strapped to her back.

Before she could fire another round though, a loud whirring sound split the air. Points of light appeared from a catwalk overhead and they illuminated something that looked like nothing she had ever seen. It had several spindly limbs all around its body and a single giant eye in the middle of its torso. The demon, for what else could it be, vaguely looked like a spider, but even that description was off.

The sound it made intensified as well as the lights around it. They reached their peak and suddenly the lights shot towards her. Seeing the blue, arrow-like projectiles, Lady managed to somersault out of the way. However a Pride wasn't so lucky and was pierced in the back. It wailed before disintegrating into sand.

'_Shit!'_ she thought as she looked back up at the new demon. It was a long-ranged enemy, and its high vantage point increased its attack radius. She didn't think her guns could reach it, and once again she wished for her Kalina Ann.

'_Stupid Dante!' _she thought vehemently as she dodged a few more scythes. Her bazooka would have been the answer to her current dilemma. Not only would it clear up a large portion of these demons on the floor, the rockets it launched could also have reached the one on the catwalk.

But of course her Kalina Ann was uselessly stuck in some weird statue buried under tonnes of rubble. She really would have to beat Dante up for this.

Dropping her Uzis so that they hung from their straps, Lady turned around and started to run. She'd have to find a better position than the one she was in now. Hopefully there would be a way up the catwalk so that she that could deal with the arrow-shooting demon later.

Seeing a mass of thick wires hanging from some machinery in front of her, Lady said a quick prayer and leaped through them. Miraculously the wires didn't entangle her and she kept on running.

She heard more than saw the Prides and Lusts cutting through the wires. It provided her a few vital seconds to get ahead, and she hoped it would be enough.

Leaping onto a conveyer belt, she ran along the rubber belt till she reached a machine in front of it. Grabbing onto the top, she hoisted herself up and then looked behind her.

The Prides and Lusts were only a few feet away and spotting their stationary victim, they rushed at her en masse.

Grabbing her Uzis once more, she pointed it at the crowd and let loose with a hail of bullets. Some of them died under her constant fire, but more and more seemed to emerge from the surrounding gloom.

'_Dammit,' _Lady thought as she stopped firing for a moment to change the Uzis' clips. Once she had reloaded her weapons she began to shoot again.

This situation was worse than she had ever imagined; she found herself sorely wishing for Dante and/or Vergil's presence.

'_Yeah right!'_ she snorted at herself for the errant thought. _'What are they gonna do, sneeze on the enemy? Dante's more likely to puke at their feet since he's so damned sick. And Vergil might re-open his wound and pass out from all that blood loss. He'd need a blood transfusion, and I don't know how that would work on a half-demon.'_

Seeing that the demons were almost to the machine she stood on, Lady dropped her guns again and leapt onto the roof of another machine. Fishing for the AK rifle at her back, she took it and set it to full automatic.

A steady staccato of bullets assaulted the demons, but like before they ignored their casualties and made straight for her.

A familiar whirring sound started again, and taking the chance, Lady looked up and saw that new demon once more. It looked like it was getting ready to shoot at her _again_ when suddenly a small shape darted towards it.

Lady watched with relief as Cerberus finally made his appearance and started to attack the demon. It tried to avoid the three-headed puppy, but his jaws clamped onto the demon's central red eye.

The devil hunter watched in amazement as the red eye glowed fiercely. The demon shuddered violently for a few moments before falling apart. However before it disappeared the red glow seemed to leak onto Cerberus and enter him.

All three heads went stock still for a second before he turned around to face her. Lady saw his multiple eyes glowing with power, and … had he gotten bigger somehow? Instead of being the size of a Jack Russell Cerberus now looked to be on par with a Labrador.

Cerberus' middle head gave her a bark, and somehow she heard the warning in it. Lady jerked backwards and narrowly missed having her head cleaved in by a scythe.

Berating herself for getting distracted she took a knife from her boot and stabbed it into the Lust. The blade pierced its white glowing eye and it shrieked in pain.

"Ha!" she said as she kicked the Lust in the stomach. It fell from its precarious perch on the machine's top and landed on a few of its approaching brethren.

Using the rifle to take care of them, Lady quickly glanced back up at Cerberus. It seemed that a few more of those one-eyed demons had appeared on the catwalk, and the hellhound was making short work of them.

Glad that she didn't have to climb up all that way. Lady concentrated on her demons once more. She finished off three extra clips of ammo before her rifle was useless.

Dumping the weapon on the ground, she grabbed her Glock, reloaded it, and then fired single round bursts at the enemies.

'_Looks like they're tapering off,'_ she commented to herself. It seemed that there were less Prides and Lusts emerging from the darkness, and she was glad for it. She was starting to get dangerously low on ammo.

As she shot at the Lesser Demons her ring continued to increase in brilliancy. It was getting to the point where it was hard to look directly at it. Lady wondered what this meant; she was killing the demons so the ambient demon energies should be lessening, right? So why was the ring glowing so much?

Suddenly a loud wail ripped through the factory; it was so loud that she thought even Mr. Gunderson could hear it in his car.

Lady watched in amazement as darkness, something even deeper than the shadows, emerged from the floor. It seeped across the ground like inky water, and the Prides and Lusts hastily backed away from it.

If even the Lesser Demons feared this thing, Lady didn't think she'd be particularly happy with its arrival either.

The darkness stopped and then seemed to bubble upwards. It coalesced into the form of a black robed creature with pallid skin and glowing blue eyes. When it opened its mouth to deliver a shrill laugh, Lady saw that its mouth was also bluish in colour.

"Not another one!" Lady groaned in frustration as she took up her Uzis again. This one seemed particularly powerful and menacing as it started to stalk towards her.

Almost languidly it made sweeping movements with its giant scythe. The blade sliced the air and the Lesser Demons surrounding it. They all fell to its casually delivered attack so that it was only Lady and the Grim Reaper looking demon on the floor.

She almost didn't dodge in time as the demon suddenly lunged towards her. Lady threw herself off the machine as the creature attacked with blindingly fast speed. There was no chance to fire her guns as she frantically ducked, rolled, and leapt away from it.

Fear blossomed from her heart as the thing kept attacking her with devious skill. It would maliciously laugh in its high-pitched voice as she desperately tried to keep away from its dancing scythe. It was all she could do to stay away from its weapon.

"Shit!" she yelled as she suddenly felt her feet slip out from under her. The copious amount of sand on the floor had made her fall, and she stuck out her hands to take the impact.

Her palms hit the floor painfully, and the grains of sand bit into her skin. She didn't have time to check if they were bleeding though as she instinctively rolled away.

Lady had escaped just in time. The sharp point of the scythe dug into the floor where her head had been a few nanoseconds before. Ending up on her back, Lady reached into her other boot and took out her last knife.

Throwing it at the powerful demon, she watched in satisfaction as the blade imbedded itself into the thing's neck. However the demon didn't even react; it merely plucked the offending blade from its throat and threw it back at her.

"Aaah!" Lady gave a brief shout of pain as she felt her own knife bite into her left shoulder. Looking at the wound, she saw that it was a long but shallow cut.

A shadow suddenly loomed over her. When she stared into the reaper's face she saw sadistic glee in its eyes. The garish mouth was quirked in a vicious grin as it chuckled at the sight of her blood.

The demon was toying with her.

"Bastard!" she snapped at it. Using her right arm she took the Glock from its thigh holster and pointed it at the demon. She managed to get three bullets into the reaper's torso but like before it didn't seem to have any affect.

Its grin widen to inhuman proportions at it raised its scythe. Her eyes widened as the demon prepared to strike.

Almost faster than she could see, Cerberus unexpectedly leapt from behind. The three-headed dog, now the size of a large Rottweiler, landed onto the reaper's back, which made the demon fall on Lady.

For several Hellish moments her entire world consisted of cold darkness and the smell of sulpher and rot. She heard the creature wailing in anger as it thrashed around, knocking Lady's body in the process. Cerberus' distinct barks and snarls also filled the air so that the factory echoed with frightening noise.

Finally the reaper rolled off Lady and she could properly breath again. Taking in lungfuls of air, she painfully sat up and watched as Dante's doggy battled the much larger demon.

All three heads growled fiercely at his opponent, and she was glad to see that the back of the reaper's robes was torn. There were deep furrows on the creature's corpse-white skin, and purplish-black blood flowed from the wounds.

'_No … not blood,'_ she amended as she looked closer. It didn't flow like liquid. Instead it seemed to act more like a vapor that was disappearing into the air.

Lady looked at her ring again and saw that it was glowing brightly. It was like having a piece of pure magnesium burning at her finger, but there was no heat emanating from it. The magical light illuminated the darkness and made her shirt look green.

A loud thump drew her attention back to the fight. Cerberus slammed his paw on the floor several times and large spikes of ice shot up from the ground. They pierced the reaper but it managed to rapidly float away.

Making that wailing noise that irritated and terrified her at the same time, the demon disappeared into the same ball of darkness as before.

'_Is it gone?'_ she asked herself but then saw the darkness appear beneath Cerberus' feet.

"Watch it!" Lady yelled but her warning wasn't needed. The three-headed guardian was familiar with this type of enemy and had already bounded away. A moment later the reaper re-appeared and shot upwards, its scythe spinning in a fatal motion.

Cerberus' growl deepened as he faced his opponent again. It looked like the Hell Vanguard didn't know whom it was messing with, but the hellhound was more than willing to show it who was superior.

* * *

Vergil's eyes slid from one irritant to another. 

On the futon couch Dante had fallen asleep. His arm was thrown over his eyes as he softly snored in his slumber. The TV was on some sort of idiotic game show where people answered foolish and embarrassing questions. It seemed that even the show was inane enough to drag his brother under.

However the (fake) laughter of the audience was slowing driving Vergil mad. _And_ the volume was set pretty high too.

Then there was Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. Agni and Rudra were in the kitchen peeling and chopping vegetables for dinner. They had offered to use _themselves_ to cut the food and he hadn't known what they meant until the twin demons had grabbed their heads and pulled. To Vergil's immense surprise (which he successfully hid, of course) they had tugged their heads _off_.

Attached to their noggins were hilts and blades. Apparently their heads were the pommels of the weapons while their bodies served as sheathes. The blades looked vaguely like scimitars but were much wider than usual.

' …_Eww,'_ he remembered thinking as he stared at them. He'd seen some pretty strange things in his life, and even he had done a few inhuman actions as well. But there was _no way_ in Hell he'd let Agni and Rudra use … themselves to chop vegetables; he had limits on weirdness too.

Vergil had flatly refused their request and told them to use regular kitchen knives instead. After they had replaced their heads back onto their shoulders and had thoroughly washed themselves in the sink, he let them get to work.

The pair didn't seem offended at his cold denial. Instead they had started to _sing_ as they used paring knives to peel potatoes.

The eldest Sparda did his best to tune it all out. He walked over to a storage bin (one of the few they kept) and began rooting through it to find a first aid kit. Dante had condensed all the leftover medical supplies into two large kits. Finding one of them, Vergil hefted the heavy item up and walked towards the bathroom.

"We interrupt this program for some late breaking news," the TV suddenly said. "The ruins that inexplicably appeared in the heart of the urban area have been blamed for the city-wide black out last week. Sources claim that it had somehow damaged the power lines running underneath the city streets …"

Vergil stopped in front of the television and watched as the local news anchor delivered his bit. The remains of the Temen-Ni-Gru were the talk of the town; no one knew how it had appeared so suddenly. He knew that it was likely some form of magic that had hidden the Tower from regular humans when it had emerged. Why else would the Temen-Ni-Gru be so undisturbed when it had appeared during the night? No police or army had come; only those who were expressly meant to enter the Demon Tower had seen it at all.

But now that the Tower had fallen, its magic had failed and so mundane people could see it. The discovery had caused quite a ruckus, and people were demanding an explanation, something the mayor of the city was hard pressed to give.

The news anchor said that a team of forensic experts, archeologists, and engineers would be sent to investigate. Then the annoying game show was put back on the air.

'_Pointless,'_ Vergil snorted as he went to the bathroom. The special team wouldn't find anything of real worth there. And even if they did find any demon artifacts, the items had an odd way of disappearing from sight. Either thieves would steal them for their black market value, or they would simply disintegrate. Not everything demonic could survive for long in the human world.

Shutting the bathroom door behind him, he found that it didn't completely block the racket from outside. How Dante had managed to fall asleep in that bedlam was anyone's guess.

Tugging his blue linen shirt out from under his black dress pants, Vergil unbuttoned the shirt and then hung it on the hook at the door. He stared into the bathroom mirror and saw the white gauze wrapped around his torso.

He knew that underneath it the wounds that Dante had dealt him were slowly mending. The worst one was a stab wound to his spleen but there were numerous other slashes on his chest and abdomen.

'_Who knew that the brat could fight,'_ Vergil thought crossly to himself as he began to unwind the gauze. He knew he had pushed Dante into this entire ordeal, and that their final showdown had been inevitable. But still … it had hurt _on the inside_ whenever his twin had managed to land a blow on him.

It injured Vergil's pride as a warrior but more importantly, it hurt his feelings as a _brother_.

"Don't be stupid!" Vergil harshly admonished himself. He glared at his reflection, which angrily glared back. Finally he broke eye contact with the reflective surface and finished unwinding the white strips of cotton.

'_I don't care that Dante almost killed me. I don't care that I almost killed him,'_ he repeated in his head like a mantra. Raising the Temen-Ni-Gru, fighting all those guardian demons, working with Arkham … it all had a purpose.

He _needed_ power, the power of Sparda, his father. It was his birthright and if, no _when,_ he had it nothing could stand in his way. Vergil knew that weakness didn't allow you to protect anything, much less yourself.

'_But I wonder what Father would think of this.'_

Vergil stopped mid-motion at the random thought.

What would the Legendary Dark Knight think if he knew his eldest had raised the Demon Tower, the same one he had sealed so long ago, and had almost plunged the Earth into Hell? What thoughts would run through the powerful demon's head if he knew that Dante, easy-going, goofy, mischievous _Dante_ had saved the world Sparda had come to love?

Vergil never could read his father's emotions although he'd try when he'd been a child. Sparda tended to hide his expressions well, and it was something Vergil had strived to emulate.

He'd always admired his father's strength, wisdom, and control. Vergil recalled long afternoons just _looking_ at Sparda as he went about his business. Everyone who met him instantly respected him. Vergil had wanted the same thing.

On the other hand Dante had a love-hate relationship with their father. It was true he also respected Sparda, but the youngest son was more rebellious. He didn't like their sire's strict manner and cold expression. Dante found it much easier to be with their mother and he would almost constantly be by her side (unless he knew he'd done something naughty and would get in trouble for it later).

And in return, Eva had loved Dante back.

Vergil always thought his mother doted on Dante too much back then, but some secret part of him had also yearned for that loving attention.

"Foolish," Vergil muttered as he ripped off the cotton square over his worst injury. The medical tape burnt his skin as he almost savagely tore it away from himself. Vergil didn't mind; the pain served to distract his thoughts.

He didn't need to care about what Father thought of his earlier actions. Sparda and Eva were dead now so he could do whatever he wanted.

'But what is it I want?' 

Ignoring the question for now, he looked at the wound. He saw that it had scabbed over nicely. The flesh around the gash was slightly pink, but he didn't think it was infected.

Wetting a face cloth he carefully cleaned off the old ointment he'd used before. He did the same for all the other cuts on his skin before re-applying some antibiotic cream. Afterwards he covered his largest injury again with a cotton pad and taped it in place.

Using a new gauze strip he wrapped his torso once more.

Done with his daily ritual, he put his shirt back on. He frowned as the linen rubbed against his muscular arms; the linen was smooth but it was incomparable to silk.

'_Dante owes me new clothing,'_ he snorted to himself as he tucked the hem of the shirt into his pants.

Once he'd cleaned up the bathroom with its awful green tiles, he stepped back out into the din of the main room.

Dante was still asleep on the couch with his mouth open wide. Some drool was trailing down to his chin. Vergil was momentarily tempted to drop something into his younger sibling's gaping mouth but he quashed the thought. He was the mature son after all and wouldn't stoop down to Dante's level.

Instead he replaced the first aid kit back to its original spot and then turned off the TV. The annoying sounds from it thankfully stopped, but now he could clearly hear Agni and Rudra's off key singing.

Glaring at the kitchen counter, Vergil willed them to stop.

And to his great surprise, they did.

"Brother, what do we need to do next?" Agni asked.

"I think he wanted us to cut some of this," Rudra answered. "Let me get it for you."

"I appreciate that greatly, Brother."

He heard the patter of feet as Rudra went off somewhere. Then Vergil saw several stalks of celery seemingly move on its own accord.

"Ah, thank you, brother! Now let us resume our task!"

"You are most welcomed! These large vegetables shall fall under our combined strength!"

And to Vergil's chagrin, they began a jaunty tune.

But the momentary lapse into silence had let Vergil hear something. Quietly bending down over his brother, he could hear Dante's raspy breathing. It seemed that his illness was getting worse and the mucous had gotten into his lungs.

Eyeing Dante's clothes, which only consisted of a tight pair of black jeans, Vergil shook his head. Of course the dolt wouldn't wear something appropriate for his condition …

Grabbing Dante's shoulder Vergil roughly shook him awake.

"Huh? Wha?" the younger twin asked confusedly before sniffling.

"Go sleep in your room."

"I don't wanna," Dante blearily frowned at him. Honestly, Vergil was so damn bossy!

"Just do it," Vergil snapped and hoisted his brother to his feet. All but dragging him to his bed, Vergil pushed him onto the mattress. Dante landed with a little "oomph!" and rolled onto his back.

"Jerk," he mumbled but rested his head on a pillow anyway.

"Imbecile," Vergil countered. He was about to leave but saw that Dante wasn't going under the covers. Tsking in annoyance Vergil dragged the blanket out from under Dante and put it over him.

"Thanks, mommy," Dante grinned cheekily. "Now how about a good night kiss?"

"Don't push me," Vergil growled.

Dante only smirked in response before snuggling deeper into the blankets. He turned himself over so that his older sibling couldn't see the pleased smile on his face.

Lightly snorting at his brother's immaturity, Vergil stalked over to the kitchen. Checking the wall clock he observed that it was almost six p.m.

Glancing outside the window he saw that the sun was on its was down. She only had an hour of sunlight left.

'_I wonder how Lady's doing?'_ he asked himself as he stepped into the kitchen. She seemed competent enough when it came to fighting demons, but he couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive about her going it alone.

'_Well it's that stubborn girl's fault if she dies,'_ Vergil sniffed dismissively as he washed his hands in the sink. Now wasn't the time to think about a rude, gun-wielding tomboy with attitude problems. Now was the time to start dinner.

* * *

**Additional A/N:** The long ranged demon Cerberus was fighting is called an _Enigma_. But Lady doesn't know that. :) Also I want to give kudos out to the website called Devil's Lair. It's a pretty good DMC3 info site, so check it out. It saved my neck since I haven't played DMC3 in a while and forgot how some of the lesser demons looked like. 


	9. Bringing Home the Bacon

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To **Zeromaru Chaos Mode**, **Laryna6**, **Lina L**, **SecretsofPandora**, **The Tyrant Hamster**, **BladeMaster16**, **Some Random Reviewer**, **AnimeGamer10**, **Meirelle**, **yodel**, **rose-mirror21**, **Kerriane Harrington**, **Dra Gan the Dragoniodian King**, **Avrile**, **Shinimegami**, **Dav Strife**, **Sable**, **Kay-Marie** (LOL girl, your question about Yamato will be answered later on), and **Shades of Blood**.

Holy cow! Over 100 reviews! Really, you guys are **the** awesome! You all get chocolate hearts since it's Valentine's and all. :) I am totally in your debt since you're the ones who keep me writing! Thanks so much for reviewing, and I hope you keep on doing it!

**Disclaimer:** Capcom owns the rights to Devil May Cry! But they were nice enough to let me borrow it. :P

**A/N:** What can I say? I want to make this fic go faster, but apparently it isn't going to happen. Oh well, onwards and upwards! Enjoy. :D

Oh, and since **Shinimegami **brought it up, I'm starting a mailing list. When I update I'll email those who want to be informed about it. Just tell me if you want to be in the mailing list and which email to send it to. Cheers!

* * *

**Chapter 09: Bringing Home the Bacon**

Clamping a hand over her bleeding left shoulder, Lady jogged over to where her Uzis had fallen from her brief tussle with the reaper. Scooping one up with her bloody right hand, she pointed it at the large demon.

'_Dammit!'_ she cursed mentally as she tried to get a clean shot. However Cerberus' constant jumping always got in the way of her aim.

Almost stamping her foot in irritation, she watched and waited as the demon dog deftly avoided all the reaper's attacks while successfully landing his own. She couldn't help but admire the three-headed hound's strength and agility, and was starkly reminded of her own human limitations.

Shoving the thoughts away, she gripped the Uzi's gunstock tighter. It didn't matter if she was less powerful than a demon; as long as she was willing to battle them it was enough.

It had to be enough.

The reaper raised its scythe in an overhead strike, but as usual the much smaller Cerberus managed to dodge it with seemingly casual ease. The blade's tip inserted into the concrete floor as if it were nothing, but when the demon tried to pry its weapon from the ground, the blade stuck fast.

Seeing his chance, Cerberus jumped onto the scythe's shaft and used it like a springboard to leap at the Hell Vanguard's exposed head. Opening his three jaws wide the hound bit into the pallid skin with a sickening noise. His freezing breath immediately started to ice over the other demon's flesh as he tore at its face. Using his sharp paws he also scratched off large chunks of icy demon tissue that fell to the ground in a macabre rain.

Releasing its hold on the scythe, the demon grabbed Cerberus around his middle and roughly threw him off. The demon hound flipped in mid-air and landed on its feet like a cat.

'_Now!'_

Depressing the trigger of her Uzi, Lady fired a stream of bullets at the wounded creature. They struck it in the middle of its bloodied face and it cried in anguish as the projectiles further opened the injuries.

Shielding its face with its clawed hands, the reaper began to sink into the shadow-covered ground in an attempt to escape. Lady's shots went over its head and she stopped to re-aim. However before she could, Cerberus launched himself at the demon's chest. The dog madly slashed with his paws and snapped with his razor sharp teeth.

The middle head managed to bury his entire muzzle into the chest and sink his fangs into something vital.

More of that purple-black 'blood' seeped from the wound and seemed to enter Cerberus. Lady watched in shock as she actually saw the three-headed dog _growing_ in size.

Before she could think on it further, the reaper let out one last shriek. It was so loud and high-pitched that she had to clamp her gloved hands over her ears. Still its scream was so deafening that it made her head throb. Windows shattered all around her, and dust fell from the shaking support beams overhead.

Lady found herself crouching down with her hands over her ears and her eyes tightly shut. She'd managed to avoid the demon's weapon, but its dying call seemed to be the end of her. The wail seemed to pass through her flesh and made her bones resonate wildly till all she felt was pain. It seemed as if her organs were liquefying at the terrible sound.

The female devil hunter didn't know how long she stayed that way, but eventually she felt something ice cold touching her right arm. Carefully looking up she saw that Cerberus' middle head was gently prodding her with his nose.

The guardian of the gateway to Hell was now the size of a large pony. When she stood up she saw that his head reached a little past her shoulders. He looked the same as before (aside from the increased dimensions that is) but his eyes also had a cleverer look to them.

True he had been sharper than the average dog to begin with but now it actually looked like he had human-level intelligence.

Turning away from those keen eyes, she glanced back at the reaper's remains. Its corporeal body was just a pile of sand now, and none of the darkness remained anywhere.

Actually, now that Lady looked more closely, the insides of the factory seemed brighter somehow. The late afternoon sunlight streaming in from the completely broken windows appeared more luminous than before. Even the numerous shadows in the building didn't seem so deep, so threatening.

"I guess that was the last one, eh boy?" she asked her partner. Her voice rang in her ears, and she swallowed a few times to try to regain her proper hearing.

All of Cerberus' heads barked an affirmative.

Trusting in her companion's otherworldly senses, Lady nodded in satisfaction. Another mission completed, though it had been on the insane side for a while.

After gathering her precious weapons that were scattered on the brewery's floor, she and the hound exited the building. Lady stopped in front of the portal for a moment and let the blessed sunlight touch her skin.

The sight of the setting sun was enough to raise her flagging spirits a little, but she still felt bone tired. Her muscles were sore from all that jumping and dodging she'd done. Even her bones seemed to ache from the reaper's dying call, and she couldn't wait to get home and sleep for a thousand years.

'_Home?'_ Lady snorted in derision. _'Since when do I have a home?'_

Cerberus's left head briefly whined at her as he picked up on her mood. She patted his muscular shoulder to show that she was OK and felt his coldness even through her leather gloves.

Eventually they reached the black duffle bag Lady carried her armaments in. It looked lonely and misplaced out there by itself in the parking lot, and she could only feel the same.

Crouching down in front of it she began to expertly pack away her guns when she heard tires going over grass, stone, and dirt. Without looking up she felt more than saw Mr. Gunderson's car coming to a halt farther from them than before.

After long moments, the front door finally opened and the businessman stepped out. With obvious reluctance he approached her and stopped about two feet away.

Ignoring the older man for now, she unzipped one of her duffle bag's side pockets and extracted a large cotton pad and some medical tape. Lady peeled the bloody clothes from her left shoulder and looked at the wound.

'_Not bad,'_ she thought as she inspected the cut. It was indeed long, almost from her front all the way to her back, but it was shallow. Thankfully that meant she wouldn't need a trip to the emergency room for stitches. With luck she might not get a scar from it either.

'_Not that it matters,'_ Lady thought sardonically as she recalled the myriad other scars on her body.

Ripping open the package that held the cotton pad with her teeth, she gingerly placed it on her injury. She winced slightly at the pain but pressed the cloth against it anyway. The wound still bled a little, but she'd take better care of it at Dante's place.

Not being able to stand the silence any longer, Mr. Gunderson cleared his throat loudly. Lady looked at him from the corner of her eyes as she taped the cotton pad in place. His gray eyes were wider than usual, and it kept bouncing from her bloody injury to Cerberus' giant form.

When they first met, the hound had been strange but still relatively harmless looking. He was the size of a toy dog after all. Now that he almost matched Mr. Gunderson's height, Cerberus' looked absolutely lethal.

"I take it you were successful?" he finally asked her as he kept a wary eye on the demon dog.

"Yes. All the demons have been exterminated," she said tiredly, not caring if the client was terrified of Cerberus.

"Good, good," he nodded absent-mindedly as his eyes roved over the hound. "Where did you get this do –"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to get paid and leave," Lady interrupted him sharply. She recognized that look in Mr. Gunderson's eyes; _that_ man always had it. The businessman's initial fear had morphed into inevitable curiosity, and she didn't want it to develop any further.

'_People subconsciously fear evil. And yet many are drawn to it like a moth to the flame,'_ her sire's voice said in her head unbidden.

The words and his voice, oh so composed and reasonable, made her blood boil in reaction. Lady's cheeks flushed and her eyes took on a dangerous light.

Seeing her dark expression, Mr. Gunderson cleared his throat uncomfortably once more and straightened up.

"Of course, Lady, of course," he said with forced calm. "Here's your payment. I think it will be adequate?"

Digging into the inside pocket of his blazer he took out a wad of cash. He handed it to her, and after counting the hundred dollar bills she came up with $3500.

"It is," she said, not up to arguing. It was less than she expected but she imagined that it was more than what most people would, or could, pay. Anyway, in the end, she didn't hunt demons for the money.

"Excellent!" Mr. Gunderson gave her a genuine smile, which she barely returned. Looking over her head, his eyes scanned the brewery. It seemed that he felt the same lifting of oppressive gloom as she did since his expression turned jovial.

With the job done and paid for, Lady bent over and retrieved her bag. Using the straps to lift it, she almost staggered from the weight.

'_Oh man, was it this heavy before?'_ she asked herself as she hid a grimace. Though she'd used several clips of bullets it felt like the bag had doubled in weight. Her fatigue was making things difficult, but with stubborn determination she carried the bag.

Trudging over to the patiently waiting Cerberus, she stopped in front of the gigantic hound.

'_And Dante said that he grew bigger than this!'_ she thought in awe as she looked him up and down. The area around him was cold, and the ground at his feet had been coated with ice. His very breath shot out plumes of white as it froze the water in the air itself.

"Now how am I going to get you on a bus?" she queried as she tapped her foot in thought. There was no way he could fit through the doors, and she doubted the bus drivers would stop for them anyway.

Cerberus' right head ('Righty' if you went by what Dante called him), looked straight into her eyes. Then he shifted his gaze to Mr. Gunderson who was still looking over his brewery. No doubt he was imagining what he could do with it now that it was demon free.

"… I couldn't ask him that!" Lady whispered to Cerberus as a surprised, and slightly mischievous look crossed her features.

The dog's tail started wagging as Lefty jerked his head towards the distracted businessman.

'DO IT!' his gleeful expression clearly stated.

Humming in indecision she glanced back from Cerberus to Mr. Gunderson.

Well … the bus really wasn't a viable option considering what had happened earlier. And that had been when Cerberus was puppy-sized. She couldn't imagine what kind of havoc would ensue now that he was much, _much_ larger.

Sharing a grin with all three heads Lady walked over to the client. He was muttering something about calling in some movers when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around he was mildly surprised, and disappointed, that they were still here.

"Yes?" he asked as his gaze once more flickered to the giant three-headed dog.

"Mr. Gunderson," Lady began in her most genial voice. Her change in tone immediately made him suspicious.

"I was wondering if we could trouble you for a ride back into town?"

* * *

With a final tug, Vergil managed to get the old light bulb free from the lamp. He gave the item a cursory look before tossing it into a nearby garbage bin.

Dinner was simmering in the kitchen, and his brother was still asleep. With nothing left to do (his book collection was non-existent at this time), he had decided to fix the four lamp stands Agni and Rudra had previously found.

The lamp stands were tall, about six feet in height. From the black base protruded a thin shaft that ended with glass 'lamp shades' shaped like fans. When a working light bulb was placed in them these fans lit up and would look quite nice with the rest of the décor.

Vergil would never openly admit it, but this place didn't look half bad. Yes the majority of the items were second hand, but it all coalesced into something … comfortable.

Still, he couldn't stay here forever. He had things to do, goals to achieve, and power to obtain. This little _setback_ didn't deter him from his ultimate purpose: to gain the power of Sparda that was rightfully his.

But before he could do that, he had to recover his devil powers and his beloved Yamato.

When they'd been cleaning the flat a few days ago, Vergil had been looking for his sword as well. But all that searching had been fruitless so he was forced to reside here till he could regain his weapon.

Vergil couldn't believe that his brother had left his katana in the Divinity Statue before the Temen-Ni-Gru had buckled. It nagged at him that Dante would bother doing that while carrying him and escaping the collapsing Demon Tower at the same time. That didn't make sense, but then again, his brother loved to yank his chain.

Unfortunately it wasn't only Dante who was wearing his patience thin. Being forced to remain here, having his wounds heal at human speeds, dealing with Lady's attitude, and putting up with the former Tower guardians was really starting to get to him. On several occasions Vergil had found himself extremely tempted to resort to violence, but each time he'd managed to control the urge. Now he tried to keep himself occupied lest he lose his temper and do something _rash_.

Oddly enough it was _cooking_ that had kept him calm for this long. At first he did it out of necessity; Dante's idea of cooking was calling the local pizza parlor. With their current financial state, that was unfeasible, not to mention unhealthy as well. Lady's culinary attempts hadn't been bad but still, _his_ meals always came out better.

He didn't really enjoy cooking, nor was he adverse to it. The task simply occupied his mind so that he didn't dwell on his current situation, which brought him a measure of peace. And since he'd claimed the kitchen as his own personal domain (he didn't tolerate Dante or Lady mucking around in there) he was free to bask in blessed solitude for a while.

The familiar humming and clanking of the elevator running suddenly filled Vergil's ears. With his back turned to the elevator, he began to work on the next lamp stand.

'_It took her long enough to finish,'_ he thought as he quickly checked the wall clock. It was close to seven p.m. now, and the sun was only a smear on the horizon. He knew that if he, or Dante, had gone, they would have completed the job _hours_ ago.

With a loud _clang_ the elevator stopped and he heard the gate being pushed open.

"So, you're finally back," Vergil said while inspecting the lamp's electrical cord. "Were you successful?"

"Successful in what?" a voice that was _definitely_ not Lady's asked.

Turning around in surprise, Vergil saw a rather rotund man standing in the flat's 'foyer' area. He was older than them, probably in his mid-fifties. His curly steel gray hair was unkempt and greasy; they were kept out of his face by a dirty baseball cap.

This stranger might have been muscular once but he had traded that in for rolls of fat. His jowls hung low over his chest, and he stared out at Vergil with beady hazel eyes. The stained tan t-shirt and brown plaid pants were stretched over his body, and they extended even further as he lumbered towards the oldest twin.

'_Who is this man, and how did he get in here?'_ Vergil asked himself as he watched the approaching figure. The smell of old cigar smoke and booze hit his nostrils, and the half devil sniffed in distaste.

'_Dante's associates could use some improvement.'_

Either the man didn't notice Vergil's revulsion or he didn't care. He was busy looking around the re-decorated flat, and by the looks of it he was impressed. A little.

Finally coming to a stop a foot away from Vergil, the man looked straight into the cold blue eyes. Used to those kinds of stares, the 'guest' got right down to business.

"So you plannin' on staying here after all, Dante?"

Vergil raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"Figured you might," he grinned, showing off yellowed teeth. "With all that weird crap going on a few blocks down, I thought maybe your new place got screwed up too. Well if you plan on renewing your lease with me, you have to pay up _now_. And no more funny shit either; I don't want any more calls about late night romps or damaged property. You got that, punk?"

He accentuated his words by poking Vergil in the chest with a sausage-like finger. The Sparda twin's face didn't change, but the mood certainly did. Somehow he seemed all the more imposing, and his urge to kill the offending man seemed to manifest itself into the air.

Feeling the suddenly heavy atmosphere, the stranger backed up a little. He didn't know what happened to Dante, but he usually wasn't this silent or dangerous. Dante had lived here for almost two years, but he'd been a smart-ass the entire time. This attitude was new, and he didn't like it one bit.

"One complaint from the other tenants, and you're outta here," the man continued on with fake bravado. "Or if you even chip a piece of brick off the wall, you're gone."

Not appreciating the stranger's intimidation tactics, Vergil took a step forward. _No one_ threatened him and lived; it was a personal rule he upheld no matter what.

With surprisingly fast reflexes the larger man took out a revolver from behind him. He'd tucked the gun inside his pant's waistband, and by the way he handled it, this wasn't the first time he'd used it. When you lived in the seediest part of town, and your tenants were dodgy at best, it was always a good idea to carry around a little insurance wherever you went.

He aimed it at Vergil, but all he saw were four lamp stands in the middle of the room. Suddenly he felt a hard punch to the gut, and it sent him sprawling across the coffee table. His backside slid across the polished surface and knocked a stack of magazines and newspapers onto the ground.

With a loud grunt, he crashed onto the carpeted floor. He'd retained his grip on his revolver, but it promptly fell out of his hand when someone swiftly chopped at his wrist.

Shouting in pain, he held his aching joint in his opposite hand. A shadow loomed over him, and glancing up he saw the cold visage of Dante. He'd _never_ seen this killer look on him before, and he couldn't help but gape at the menacing figure.

"Wha's goin' on?"

The sleepy voice broke the mood, which the man was grateful for. Using a nearby armchair for support, he shakily rose to his feet.

"Hey, this nut is trying to kill me!" the landlord said with anger, and a tinge of fear, in his voice. Taking several steps back, the man maneuvered himself around the still threatening form of Dante.

When he looked at the source of the new voice though, he couldn't help but do a double take.

_Dante_ was standing at the other end of the flat wearing nothing more than black jeans. His voice was husky and his hair was tousled. Sniffing loudly once, Dante swept some of his unruly bangs out of his bleary eyes.

But what really caught the other man's attention was the _girl_ standing next to Dante. She was obviously a minor, maybe around thirteen or so. However he had to admit that she was a real looker.

She only wore a blanket wrapped around her slim body, but he could see peeks of smooth skin. It was pale, no, pallid actually, but it set off her bright orange-red hair in perfect contrast.

'_It has to be dyed,'_ the landlord thought as he kept ogling the girl. _'No way her hair colour is natural.'_

There were no signs of make-up on her face aside from bright red lipstick. But she had to be wearing contact lenses too; her _crimson_ irises couldn't be real.

With a flirtatious smirk, she wrapped her arms around one of Dante's own. The action caused the blanket to slip further down her torso, revealing the tops of rather generous breasts.

She may only be thirteen, but she was a well-endowed thirteen.

In total disbelief the man's eyes flickered from Dante, to the girl, to the lamp stands, to the Dante look-alike who had almost murdered him, and then back again to Dante. Suddenly it all became clear to him.

"Dante!" he shouted, his face going red. "Are you filming _porn_ in my building?"

"What!" Dante asked in shock, completely awake now. Vergil, who had just noticed the strange girl besides his brother, could only slap a hand over his eyes in incredulity.

'_Great! Now the landlord thinks we're perverts! And pedophiles too! That's disgusting!'_ he groaned to himself.

Now he _knew_ he shouldn't have just tipped himself over into the abyss back in the Demon World. He should have _leapt_ into the damned darkness with a _rocket pack_ strapped to his back. That way he could have _zoomed_ deeper into Hell, which was probably better than being _here_ right now, at this very embarrassing and awkward moment.

'_Nothing can be worse than this!'_ Vergil thought as he heard Dante finally noticing the girl clamped onto his arm. His younger sibling was now yelling at her to let him go, but all she did was giggle. No, giggle was too innocent a word for it. Her laugh had been throaty, seductive, and _very_ adult.

"What the HELL is going on here!"

The roaring voice of Lady made Vergil start in surprise.

'_OK, I was wrong. **Now** it can't get any worse than this.'_

Turning around to face the elevators, he saw that a tired but livid looking Lady was standing there, gaping at them all. Beside her was a much larger version of Cerberus, who looked amused by the entire situation.

"Who're you? Another chick for the film?"

"What film?" she asked warily.

"_That _kind of film," the man jerked a thick thumb in Dante's direction.

Looking around Vergil's body, she saw the other Sparda twin standing in the grasp of a young looking red head.

"Dante …" she said threateningly, a growl Cerberus would be proud of escaping from her throat.

"Whoa, babe, it's not what it looks like!" Dante waved his hands at her in a placating manner. "This is another one of my, err, well you _know_. Her name is Nevan."

"Nice to meet you," she said to Lady with a triumphant smirk. The female demon tightened her grip on Dante's limb, much to his chagrin.

"Look, I don't care who any of you are or what you're doing here!" the large man shouted. "Dante, either you pay up now or you can kiss this place good bye!"

"Hey, wait a minute, Lou! That ain't fair!"

"Cry me a river," he sneered. "Fifteen hundred dollars upfront, right now, or else start packing your bags."

"What? I only paid a thousand before!" Dante said angrily, his cheeks reddening with the emotion.

"I only put up with you because Enzo said you were cool. That bastard was obviously lying his ass off so pay up or else."

It was apparent that he didn't think they had the money right then and there. He was surprised when the new girl came over and took a thick wad of bills from out of her shirt's breast pocket. Counting the hundred dollar bills right in front of him, she separated $1500 from the rest and handed it to him.

"I trust this will cover it?"

"Yeah," Lou said, eyeing the bills still in her hand.

"Great. Now get out of here."

He was about to make a retort, but a low rumble began to fill the room. Looking past her, he saw a _huge_ dog, a _three-headed_ dog at that, growling at him. It was glaring at him with blazing eyes, and an overwhelming fear gripped his body.

"Fine, fine," he said as he hastily made his way to the elevator.

"Don't forget _this,_" Vergil said as he tossed the revolver at the man. His aversion for the firearm was clear in his voice, and Lady glared at him.

"Another fifteen hundred dollars by next month, Dante. And remember, if I get even _one_ complaint about you, all of you are gone!" the landlord said from the safety of the elevator. Activating the lift he pressed a button for the ground floor.

The occupants of the room gladly watched him leave. An uncomfortable silence reigned in the room that was getting increasingly colder. Finally Dante cleared his throat and smiled winningly at Lady.

"So, it was a cake walk, right?"


	10. Dinner and a Mystery

**Spoilers/Warning:** This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

**Dedication:** To **Laryna6, AnimeGamer10, ShinimegamiXOXO, The Tyrant Hamster, Zeromaru Chaos Mode, Some Random Reviewer, Kirstie, rose-mirror21**, **C.Y.,** **yodel**, **Dav Strife**, **Kerriane Harrington**, **Shades of Blood, HolyBatman, Meirelle**, **Dra Gan the Dragoniodian King**, **Avrile, MissPixel, Ryoko-starwind, Kay-Marie, not available, dusty, Alexander-Godslayer, KngofPirates, d-twizzy, darthjag, **and** Red-Demon50** (yeah sitcom, eek XD).

**Disclaimer:** Star light, star bright, please grant me my wish tonight! I wish I owned Devil May Cry! … What do you mean you don't want Capcom to sue you? Sigh.

**A/N:** Eek, sorry for the really long delay in updating! Blame school, not me! I'll shut up now so you can read this long overdue chapter. Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcomed! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 10: Dinner and a Mystery**

Lady's glare bounced from one occupant of the room to another, but predominantly it was pinned on Dante. Why was the landlord blabbering about a film being shot here? And why was that … _girl _standing practically naked beside Dante?

'_I can't deal with this right now,'_ she sighed tiredly in her mind. Ignoring her 'roommates' for the time being Lady marched into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge. Also paying no attention to Vergil's protests, she took out a carton of milk and began to chug it down.

Everyone looked at her as she drank the milk in greedy gulps. Finally she finished with a satisfied "ah!" and sipped at the remaining liquid inside.

"Hungry?" Dante grinned at the milk moustache she wore. Lady was usually more refined than this, but it looked like she'd chucked good manners out the window for once. Now if only she'd lose her uptight attitude more often …

"Yeah," she said as she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "And for your information, it _was_ a cakewalk."

She shared a sly look with Cerberus; there was no way in Hell she was going to admit to them that she'd almost died. But Vergil didn't look convinced at her words and frowned.

"You're dirtying my kitchen."

"What? Well sorry for not being hygienic enough for you," she said sarcastically. "Next time I'll tell the demons to try to keep me cleaner while they attempt to kill me."

Ignoring her jibe Vergil motioned to her bloody left shoulder, which she had just noticed was starting to bleed through the bandage she'd messily put on.

"Shit!" she cursed it as she put the milk carton down on the counter. The wound should have closed a while ago, but she'd been hunched over while in the car. Mr. Gunderson and her had to move the front seats all the way up so that Cerberus could sit in the back. Even then it had been a tight squeeze for the demon hound, and they'd had to put the heater on full blast despite the humid summer weather. It had been _frigid_ in the vehicle, and she fervently hoped she wouldn't catch a cold.

"Here, I'll help you with that," Dante immediately offered, mostly out of concern but partly to get some distance from the scantily clad Nevan. He liked chicks, and Nevan was definitely a looker, but even though he knew better, she _looked_ like a pre-teen and that kind of disturbed him.

Lady didn't argue. While pressing a hand on the cotton pad she hurried over to the bathroom and passed by Vergil on the way there.

Her ring suddenly flared to life in a blinding display of green light. Everyone immediately closed his or her eyes against the visual assault, but Lady thought she saw several green sparks shooting out of the peridot set in the middle of her ring. Said sparks wafted over to Vergil's body and before entering his form, turned blue in colour.

As suddenly as it had begun, the light show ended. Once Lady's eyes had adjusted back to the current illumination level, she stared at her ring.

After they'd left the brewery the ring's light had dimmed to a pale glow. She'd hoped it would have faded back to normal but she hadn't expected it to do _this_ to get there. The green stone looked like any ordinary piece of jewelry now.

"What was that?" Lady asked the question everyone else was thinking. Dante looked from her hand and then to his brother before quirking an eyebrow at the latter.

Vergil stayed stock still for a moment before he began to unbutton his shirt. Nevan gave a yearning sigh as she caught sight of his actions, but the bandages wrapped around his torso kept his muscular chest mostly hidden.

Instead of unwrapping the long cotton strips he shoved a few of them aside to reveal his flesh underneath. Checking a spot where he _knew_ a wound had been, all he saw was flawless skin.

'_Impossible,'_ Vergil thought. _'Unless …'_

Hastily he checked another wounded spot and to his disappointment it was still there. It wasn't as severe as before, but that was no consolation to the half-devil. His demon healing ability hadn't returned, and most likely his other powers hadn't come back either.

"You OK?" Dante asked with a small frown. Lady noted how it made him look more mature, but she quickly quashed the thought. The words _Dante_ and _mature_ didn't seem to fit together in the same sentence.

Vergil just grunted in annoyance as he adjusted his bandages back into place and fixed his shirt. His cool blue eyes bored into Lady's own, and she glared right back.

"I guess that was the energies from the demons I took care of," she finally said after an awkward silence. "The ring just collected it during the fight. Cerberus did the same."

Everyone's attention went to the three-headed demon who calmly stared back.

"I suppose this is what Mr. Chu was talking about," Vergil said as he eyed Cerberus critically. "Too bad one of us can't get the energies he absorbed. His enlarged size will add some _strain _to our situation."

Translation: dealing with his increased mass was going to be a pain in the butt.

To his credit Cerberus only looked offended and didn't try to retaliate at Vergil's words. But he did rise from his spot and pad over to Dante.

The younger Sparda felt the air get increasingly colder as Cerberus approached. He couldn't help but shiver as the devil dog stopped right in front of him.

Almost tentatively the middle head stretched his neck towards his 'master'. Picking up on his cue Dante reached an arm out and laid a hand on the wintry muzzle.

An icy white mist seeped from the hound and seemed to be sucked up by Dante. It turned crimson right before it entered his body.

It took only a few seconds but once it was over Cerberus had resumed his puppy form and Dante had stopped sniffling. Feeling much better than before, he performed an experimental punch. It was hard enough that the wind it caused rattled the end table on one side of the couch.

"Cool," Dante grinned, pleased that the boost in energy had affected him so much. He gave a thumbs-up to Cerberus who wagged his tail happily.

As Dante and Vergil further investigated their partially regained powers, Lady took a first aid kit and walked to the bathroom. The twins may have been healed but her wound was still bleeding freely. And whether it was instinct or just habit, she didn't like being openly injured with demons present, 'allies' though they may be.

Entering the bathroom with the colour scheme she utterly hated, Lady was about to close the door when Dante suddenly zipped inside. In his previous condition he wouldn't have been able to make it, but now he managed to scoot within before she could stop him.

"Hey, be good out there for a while, eh?" he winked at Vergil and Nevan before shutting the door on them. He missed the killer look Lady was giving his back but he received it full force when he turned to face her.

"What? I said I'd help you didn't I?" he asked cheekily with a huge grin on his lips. "And besides," he added when it looked like she was going to punch him, "it's awkward putting on bandages with just one hand."

"Fine," Lady said through gritted teeth, some of her hostility stemming from the stinging sensations on her shoulder. "But no funny stuff!"

"I promise to leave that to the comedians," Dante smiled as he opened the first aid kit. His smile widened when he caught sight of her rolling her bi-coloured eyes at him in the mirror.

As he set out medical supplies she took off her ruined blouse and let it drop to the floor. The motion aggravated the wound but she forced herself to ignore it. If Dante and Vergil could take a sword through the chest with barely a flinch, she could put up with an itty-bitty cut.

"Ready?" Dante asked as he turned to her with a wet face cloth.

She only nodded, cursing the fact that he was only wearing some tight black jeans and the flesh God (or was that Satan?) gave him. The air moved as he came closer to her and sent goose bumps running down her legs.

'_Dammit, he's only treating me! I can DO this!'_ she told herself and steeled her body as he stopped before her.

"Uuuh, it may be easier if you took off your t-shirt."

She glared at him for all she was worth.

"To get to your wound!" Dante said, holding up his hands in surrender. "I promise, no funny business, OK?"

Against her better judgment she managed to shrug her left arm out of its sleeve. The air tickled her exposed side as she stood partially dressed in the tiny bathroom with _Dante_.

'_I must be going crazy,' _she thought darkly to herself. Why else would she _willingly_ live in a firetrap of an apartment with a goofball, a homicidal psycho, and _demons_?

'_Oh yes, that's right. Dante still needs to give Kalina Ann back. And replace my bike if I had my way,_' she thought as she pointedly looked away from him. Lady didn't catch his triumphant grin as he leaned closer to her.

The temptation to see if he could push her buttons further niggled in his mind, and after a (very) brief debate with himself, he decided to go for it.

Slipping a finger underneath her bra strap, he began to slowly move it down her shoulder.

Lady's knee suddenly found itself lodged into his gut.

"Oof!" Dante almost doubled over. His face came perilously close to smashing into her shoulder and the smell of Lady, sweat, and blood greeted his nostrils.

"What do you think you're doing?" she shrieked, her voice reverberating in the small room.

"I was just moving it to get better access to your wound!" he said a bit breathlessly. Though her knee had left him gasping a Cheshire cat grin threatened to explode onto his features. Her response had been expected, but teasing her never got old.

She gave him a withering stare before she imperiously said "humph!" and locked her eyes with the acid green tiles.

'_Score one for me,'_ Dante smirked as he began to clean the blood from her shoulder and upper arm. Honestly, with priceless reactions such as that, how could he not tease her?

Once that was done he got another clean cloth and a bottle of alcohol.

"This is gonna sting," he said as he wetted the cloth with the anti-septic.

"Go ahead," Lady said as nonchalantly as possible. The words were barely out of her mouth before her shoulder exploded in pain. She almost collided with him when she yelped at the unexpected sting the alcohol brought.

"Sorry," he quickly brought the cloth away from her flushed skin. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she muttered, her face almost as red as the area around the cut. "You just … caught me by surprise."

"I'll give you better warning next time," Dante said seriously but his eyes were bright with mischief.

"Yeah right," she couldn't help a smirk of her own. "Just get on with it."

"As you say, milady," he gave her a mock bow, which also brought his face close to her breasts.

The rest of his treatment went smoothly and soon her left shoulder sported a pad of cotton expertly taped to her skin.

"Thanks," Lady said as she gingerly put on her blouse again. She'd have to throw it out later, but there was no way she'd let Vergil see her undressed.

"Anytime, babe," he winked at her.

Lady shot him a warning look but left him unscathed. Opening the door she exited/escaped the bathroom while Dante kindly cleaned up the mess.

As she quickly walked to her bedroom she caught sight of Vergil in the kitchen. He'd set their dinner on the kitchen bar that they ate on since there was no room for a table, even a dinette set, in the space they had available. Their eyes made contact, but his gaze quickly flitted to the blood on her otherwise clean clothes.

Lady found herself hurrying to her room; his looks were disconcerting but then again, what about him wasn't? Her hand touched the doorknob but it was unexpectedly pulled away from her grasp as the door opened.

To her surprise Nevan was standing in front of her wearing_ her _clothes. The demoness now sported a charcoal gray skirt with the waistline folded in several times to make the hem even shorter. A burgundy blouse, one of Lady's favourite shirts, was buttoned halfway up so that it left Nevan's breasts tantalizingly exposed to the world. The only accessory she wore was a black leather belt with a gold buckle tightened around her trim waist.

"I hope you don't mind me borrowing your things, sweetie," Nevan spoke first and gave her a languorous smile. "But Vergil said it would be alright."

Turning around Lady glared at the half-demon in question. He was summarily ignoring them but there was no doubt that he could hear their conversation.

"He said he didn't want me gallivanting around in all my wonderful glory, but unfortunately I don't have enough power to summon my dear bats," the red-haired succubus continued as she breezed past Lady to sashay to the kitchen.

"I said it was inappropriate for you to be unclothed when there are garments available," Vergil corrected Nevan while giving her a sharp stare. "She refused to wear Dante's old clothing."

"Can you blame me?" Nevan inquired smoothly as she moved behind Vergil in an almost predatory manner. "Sugar's a charming boy, but his taste in clothing could use some improvement."

"Hey! I didn't have a lot of money to buy stuff before. Cut me some slack," Dante said as he emerged from the bathroom.

"Well … I guess it's OK for her to _borrow_ my clothes for now," Lady stressed the word, "but I want her to get her own later on."

"You can take her shopping tomorrow," Dante said and then grinned as he saw Lady's crestfallen features. Better her than him, he thought. "By the way, mind if I hang onto the cash you got?"

"Sure," she said as she dug out the remaining bills from a pocket. She was living under his roof after all, and the job had been thanks to him in the first place. However Lady only handed Dante the majority of the money and kept a few large bills for herself.

"Expenses," she smirked at his raised eyebrow. "Bullets don't come cheap, and we have to buy Nevan some clothes, remember?"

"Right, right," Dante accepted it without much fuss. She'd earned her keep so Lady was privileged to get a cut of the rewards.

"If you're all done chatting already, dinner's getting cold," Vergil called out from the kitchen. The two turned to see him already sitting on one side of the counter. Nevan had seated herself beside him as she looked down at the meal spread out before her.

"Change later, Lady. Let's get some food first," Dante said as he made his way to the table.

"… Fine," she sighed as she closed her room's door again. The mission had left her thirsty and famished, something the milk had only curbed momentarily. And the smells coming from the kitchen was making her drool, not that she'd ever mention that to Vergil in this lifetime. She didn't think his ego needed another boost anytime soon.

Sitting in the last available stool, which happened to be across from Nevan, Lady began to dig into the food. Tonight Vergil had made minestrone soup and buttered crusty bread. Even though the soup already had tomatoes in it, mostly likely a concession to Dante's obsession, he still drank a bottle of tomato juice.

'_Sheesh, it's a miracle that he hasn't turned red himself,'_ Lady thought as she watched him take a swig from his bottle. Vergil's drink of choice was a glass of ice water.

Watching Vergil and Dante eating across from each other was uncanny. So close together, even with their different clothes and hairstyles, it was obvious that they were twins. It was like looking into a very messed up mirror, and Lady wondered what ran through their heads as they sat in front of the other.

'_Heh, Dante's probably wishing for pizza and Vergil's most likely thinking about world domination,'_ she snickered to herself. Lady turned her head away lest one of the brothers caught her laughing at them.

To her left Lady saw that Agni and Rudra were sharing a bowl of soup and some bread. They were conversing with each other; actually it was the _only_ conversation happening at the table; about how interesting human cuisine was. Cerberus was tucking into some kibble, which he sometimes supplemented with wild animals he'd caught himself. Glancing up Lady saw that Nevan was simply watching the Sparda brothers eating.

"Is something the matter?" Lady found herself asking the only other female in the room.

"Not at all, sweetie," Nevan focused her crimson eyes on the human. "It's just that this isn't the kind of food I eat."

"So what _do_ you eat?" Dante asked around a mouthful of bread. Vergil wished the counter wasn't between them; he'd seen the mishmash of food in Dante's mouth and wanted to kick his brother's legs for his lack of etiquette.

'_He always did have atrocious table manners,'_ Vergil grumbled to himself.

For an answer Nevan just grinned at Dante, the lust quite evident in her expression.

"Right," Dante smirked and thanked whatever powers looking after him that there was something obstructing her way to him. He'd have to remember to keep an eye peeled for her in the night; there was no telling what she'd do when everyone was asleep.

That time didn't take long to come. With Lady tired from her mission and Dante still dealing with his sickness, everyone decided to turn in early.

Well … _almost_ everyone.

"Are you sure you want to go out this late?" Lady asked with a hint of concern as she stared at Nevan primping herself in front of a hanging mirror. The demoness had just told them her intent to leave the apartment in search of some "food and fun".

"Of course, darling," Nevan said as she tied the bottom of her borrowed blouse so that her midriff was exposed. "Nighttime is the best part of the day."

"But there are dangerous people out there!" Lady argued. "And didn't you say your powers were weak as well?"

"I've got more than enough to handle a bunch of mortal men," Nevan grinned, revealing some very sharp canine teeth.

Lady shot Dante a concerned look. Yes she knew Nevan wasn't human, but she _looked_ like a high school freshman, and dressed the way that she was, she was _sure_ to attract trouble. She wasn't even wearing any _shoes_ for crying out loud!

Apparently Dante did not share her concern for the demoness.

"Be back before sunrise," was all he said as he tossed Nevan his set of keys. Deftly catching it in her hand her grin widened.

"Will do, sugar," the red head laughed before winking at Lady. "Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."

Lady grumbled something incoherent as she watched the demoness go. It was true that the other female could probably handle herself out there, but it just seemed _wrong_ for someone so young looking to be out with pimps, gangsters, and criminals.

'_What am I saying?'_ Lady asked herself as she grumpily headed for her room. _'Nevan will probably feel right at home with those crooks.'_

"Hey, don't worry babe!" Dante called out to her from his 'bedroom'. "Nevan's a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"Whatever. Like I care," she mumbled but even to her ears it was unconvincing. "Good night."

"Sleep tight; don't let the bed bugs bite. Unless you want me to," Dante responded with a wink at her. Lady shook her head at his continued come-ons but smiled anyway.

Vergil, who had gone to his side of the divider as soon as dinner was cleaned up, didn't reply. She didn't think he was asleep yet, just indifferent or anti-social, probably both.

With a tired sigh, Lady finally entered her room to get some much deserved rest.

* * *

With a prodigious yawn Dante reluctantly joined the rest of the waking world. After rubbing the grit from his eyes, he sniffed loudly and checked the time. The clock on his nightstand told him that it was well into midmorning, and so he dug himself deeper into his blankets. It was only 10 a.m. after all, and it was way too early to even think about being conscious.

The brick wall at the head of his bed started clanking as the pipes behind it jostled against each other. It was a sure sign that someone was awake and taking a shower, and Dante was willing to bet that it was Vergil.

Since his brother's room faced the windows to the west the rising sun would (eventually) get to him first. He always rose earlier than anyone else in the flat, but Dante didn't mind; he was more of a night owl anyway.

Taking a tissue from a nearby box, he wiped his dribbling nose before lying back down. Snoozing for a few more hours sounded good and after several long moments he was starting to drift back to sleep … until an outraged and mortified scream broke the peace.

"Never a dull moment in this house," Dante muttered to himself as he regretfully sat up in his warm bed. That was as far as he got before Lady's door exploded open and she ran out.

His eyebrows rose at the sight of her dressed in only a pair of black boy shorts and a white tank top. Not noticing her watcher's fascinated stare Lady hovered around the imaginary borders of the twin's 'rooms'. She was doing an interesting 'dance' that involved her semi-hopping from one foot to another in agitation. The look on her face clearly showed her distress, disgust, and embarrassment.

"What's up?" Dante asked, and her head whipped around to face him.

"What's up? What's up! That's up!" she pointed an accusatory finger at her door.

Following her gesturing appendage, Dante guffawed in amusement. Almost in an uncanny imitation of last night, Nevan was standing naked at the entranceway with nothing but Lady's comforter wrapped around her. Pale skin seemed to glow softly in the morning light, and Dante wondered how the female demon could look so harmless and beguiling at the same time.

"What were you doing in my room?" Lady almost shrieked at her unwanted visitor.

"Aww, you didn't expect me to sleep on the couch, did you sweetie?" Nevan inquired as she approached her recent bedmate. "Besides, you were so soft and warm last night. It was divine."

To accentuate her words, Nevan draped her shapely arms around Lady's shoulders. The human clearly shuddered at the contact.

"Chill out," Dante said as he leaned against his bed's headboard. "She just likes you."

"She was practically on top of me!" Lady said as she pried Nevan's limbs off her.

"It's a small bed."

"So sleep with them!" she jabbed her finger in Dante's direction.

"Whoa there! Let's not be too hasty here," he immediately said while Nevan laughed.

"That was my first choice, but one is injured and the other is ill. I don't think either brother is up to … _entertaining_ me," she sighed airily as she wrapped her arm around Lady's waist.

The young woman didn't think Nevan meant they'd be playing innocent games like Monopoly or Clue. And it was really weird having a girl, albeit a sexy one, hitting on her.

Taking a wrist in her hand, Lady tried to unwrap Nevan from around her waist. The demoness wouldn't have it though and held on tighter. Lady felt the strength in those seemingly frail arms. Even when she was in a weakened state Nevan still had the upper hand, or arm so to speak. It irked the human that she was once again reminded of her mortal limitations.

Before she could shout at the other to release her, the bathroom door swung open and impacted the wall with a bang. Amid a screen of steam Vergil stalked out. He was wearing dark tanned slacks and a black dress shirt that wasn't buttoned all the way. The white bandages were a stark contrast against his shirt, but it was his scowling face that attracted everyone's attention.

"Well good morning, sunshine!" Dante said, the one to break the awkward silence as usual. "Got out of the wrong side of the bed today?"

"Did you touch my things?" was Vergil's reply as he disregarded his brother's usual idiocy.

"What things?"

"My items in the bathroom," he clarified with an impatient wave in its general direction.

"Now why would I do that?" Dante asked casually. "You use girly stuff anyway."

"I do not!" he bristled at the insult.

"You are such a princess," Dante continued, ignorant or ignoring his brother's dangerously rising ire. "I think you own more hair care products than Lady and me combined!"

"Well …" Lady said as she watched Vergil stalk closer to Dante's bed. "It's true."

He stopped to turn his glacial glare at her.

"Well it is, pineapple head," she muttered under her breath. Nevan heard her and giggled.

"What did you call me?" Vergil asked as his lips drew back in a snarl.

"Look, you probably just misplaced them," Dante said before any violence could break out. "They couldn't have walked away by themselves, right?"

His words were dismissed as Lady and Vergil continued to glower at each other.

"Unlike you, I do _not_ misplace things," he said without breaking eye contact with her. "Someone must have taken them and I want them returned _now_."

Obliging his words, a container of hair gel fell from the air and hit Vergil on the back of his head.

* * *

**A/N:** Do I pick on Vergil or what? ;) 


End file.
